Fuel's Paradise. In Eureka, Calif., the daily Humboldt Standard printed an ad: "WANTED TO RENT--Small, furnished apartment . . . Heated or share with lady."

The Tiger. In Taipei, Formosa, after Bus Driver Lien Maying bit a hole in a passenger's hand when he tried to board her bus with an armload of vegetables, the judge ordered her to pay $6 damages, observed: "It was not ladylike."

What of the Night? In London, the judge threw out Albert English's claim for $5,742 in back pay after English testified that although he had been paid for 30 hours a week as a restaurant odd-job man, the boss had neglected to reimburse him for 61 hours weekly he spent in a bedroom adjoining the eatery, "asleep with an ear cocked."

Another Color. In Miami Beach, Fla., arrested for possession of horse-betting equipment, Joseph Matthews told cops why he carried a set of earplugs: "I use them so other people can't tout me."

Lodestoned. In Providence, ten months after he gave himself up at police headquarters, turned in a utility truck he had stolen while on a binge in a Boston suburb, Ed R. Silva took on another skinful, showed up at the station with a taxicab he had liberated in Boston, offered an explanation: "I like the Providence cops."

Circuit Broker. In Sheffield, England, Lewis Monfredi got a $90 electric bill, learned why after he turned off his house's main switch in disgust, also blacked out a row of 23 newly installed street lights.

Night of the Hunter. In Cincinnati, after he missed a potshot at a cop, was caught carrying a loaded pistol, flashlight, gloves and burlap sack, John C. Davis drew a one-to-20-year sentence despite his explanation that he was outfitted merely for "hunting crickets."

The Glass Courthouse. In Pontiac, Mich., 13 days after he was sworn in as probation officer for traffic offenders, Leo F. Coyle resigned, following the disclosure that in 1956, after he received one ticket for faulty headlights, one for running a red light and three for speeding, his license had been suspended.

Reader Response. In Paterson, N.J., the News printed an ad: "My wife, Anna De Marco, having left my bed & board, I will no longer be responsible for any debts contracted by her on or after Jan. 15, 1957--Alphonse De Marco," two days later printed another: "Alphonse De Marco, having read your item in the paper, I feel it my responsibility to let you know you never did pay my debts or the support of my children or I, so there's no need to worry about any bills now--Anna De Marco."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.