I'll Call You. In Greensboro, N.C., Charles W. Craddock filed suit for $15,000 damages, claimed his dentist dropped a two-inch root-canal reamer down his throat, told him to "go home and forget about it."

The Pathfinder. In El Centro, Calif., after he got lost overnight on the desert, Pomona College Geology Student Bob Ward explained that he became muddled when he paid too much attention to the maps he was making.

Death Duty. In Hastings, Mich., Editor Gwen Frostic of the Michigan Business Women's Bulletin published a notice for subscribers: "If you've married--moved --or died--please let us know."

O, Pioneers! In Tokyo, a few hours after 77 Japanese antarctic explorers steamed Poleward, each loaded with 700 pieces of equipment, the Maritime Safety Board got a hurry-up call, rushed the Coast Guard out to sea with each man's missing gear: coat hangers.

Business Opportunity. In Raleigh, N.C., the daily News & Observer printed a classified ad: "SHIP IN BOTTLE COLLECTORS: Young college man will provide empty bottles on short notice. Send full bottles, returned empty same week."

Flee Now ... In Santa Fe. N.M., after two convicts kidnaped him, hijacked his auto, escaped from prison and put 450 miles on the car before getting caught, Penitentiary Guard Jose A. Vigil billed the state for their jaunt at 8-c- a mile, faced having to pay the tab himself after the attorney general's office stated that the car had been used "on an un authorized trip."

The Last Word. In Los Angeles, after her husband, whom she was suing for divorce, complained to the court that she had run up bills for $3,100 in three months, partly for trips to a psychiatrist, Mrs. Portia Allegretti explained: "My husband said I was crazy and I wanted to see if I was."

Volkskrieg. In Frankfurt am Main. Germany, arrested after confessing that he had slashed the tires of 50 cars in seven weeks, the 21-year-old defendant explained: "I cannot stand to see cars being driven when I myself have to go everywhere on foot."

Line Squall. In Clawson, Mich., when a long-distance telephone operator failed to place his call fast enough, John J. Brokelmeyer told her: "Come and get this phone out of my house if you can't make it work," decided to do the job himself, ripped the apparatus from the wall, grabbed his shotgun, went outside, used three shots to disconnect the wires from a nearby telephone pole.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.