Bulletin. In Wichita, Kans., after twelve months of only scattered rains, drought-conscious U.S. Weather Bureau Meteorologist Fred Wells looked out the window, teletyped: "NOW HEAR THIS NOW

HEAR THIS NOW HEAR THIS RAIN HAS JUST STARTED AT THE AIRPORT. GOODY GOODY GOODY."

So Help Me ... In Hartford, Conn., after Complainant Mrs. Lulu Cowles rattled off 30 minutes of rapid-fire testimony during her damage suit against a bus company, despite warnings from the bench and cautioning gestures, pleas for brevity from her own attorney, exasperated Judge John R. Thim called a recess, heard the flood flow again when court resumed, declared a mistrial.

Molar Opposites. In San Diego, Mrs. Marjorie Lee McClurken, suing for divorce, testified that because her husband refused to pay for professionally-made choppers, she was forced to buy an instruction book, make her own false teeth.

Ceiling Vice. In Milwaukee, planning a burglary after closing time, Lindy Cleveland squirmed into a 2^-ft.-high space between the false ceiling of Anthony's 600 Bar and the floor above, showered barflies with pieces of ceiling, got himself arrested for disorderly conduct after he get lost in the dark, panicked, stuck his hindquarters through the ceiling in six places.

Long Month's Journey. In Pasadena, Calif., after 24 club members, 100 police officers and 250 boy car club members searched for a month, failed to find any qualifiers, the Sertoma Club called off this year's contest to pick the city's most courteous driver.

I Did But See ... In St. Lbuis, after he used a brace and bit to drill holes in 24 doors in three apartment houses, Joseph Bommarito was given three suspended 60-day workhouse sentences despite his explanation: "I was driving along and I saw a beautiful girl. I just had to see her again."

The Power Elite. In Hartford, Conn., the State Labor Commissioner Renato Ricciuti ruled that Motel Owner Alex Crawford must pay his night clerk the state minimum wage of 75-c- an hour, in spite of Crawford's explanation that the clerk, who works a 93-hour week for 54-c- an hour, is an executive.

In Vino. In Manhattan, after a prosecution expert argued that the two defendants could not each have downed the equivalent of two fifths of whisky in 18 hours and remained conscious, 260-lb. Defense Lawyer Edward Bobick boozed through two fifths of Scotch in 15 hr. 53 min., stood unassisted in court less than an hour later, solemnly introduced the empties as evidence.

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