The Word. In Cincinnati, after federal officials received 117-page instruction booklets, they sat down to a conference on methods of eliminating unnecessary paper work.

The Long View. In New Orleans, after her 17-year-old son, Francis Jr., and Thomas Lee, 18. were booked for disturbing the peace when cops found them trying to cure their ennui by sitting back to back and blindfolded in the middle of U.S. Rt. 90, Mrs. Francis Fahrenheit huffed: "Trouble with people is they forget they were kids."

Chink. In Dallas, officers of the 49th Armored Division of the Texas National Guard complained to police that prowlers kept entering the division motor compound and taking joy rides in jeeps.

Peck Order. In Burlington, N.C., while Motorist J. W. Wiggins was protesting a parking ticket to the city council on the ground that it was unconstitutional, his wife, Policewoman Hazel Wiggins, discovered that his car was parked illegally outside the city hall, wrote out another ticket.

Full Speed Ahead. On Truk. in the Caroline Islands, War Surplus Salvager Oliver C. Stine ordered a native workman to chop apart an awkwardly shaped, 1,000-lb. chunk of rusted scrap, took over the acetylene torch himself when the workman failed to make satisfactory progress, got positive results whenthe object's outer casing began smoking and split open, hurriedly stopped salvaging when he peered inside, recognized a Japanese torpedo warhead.

Let Me Hear You Whisper. In Los Angeles, a judge found Mrs. Florence Berzon in contempt of a restraining order and gave her a five-day suspended jail sentence for telephoning her husband at his office as many as 60 times a day, after she explained: "I only wanted to find out how he was."

Lip Service. In Hamm, West Germany, after being fired for refusing to wear lip' stick, Elisabeth Schoessler took her ex-employer to court, won pay compensation, went to work for another shop in the same capacity: lipstick saleswoman.

Home Is the Sailor. In Ensenada, Mexico, three crewmen of the American fishing boat Sportsman were taken into custody by the Mexican coast guard after Captain E. W. Bartell charged that they threw the boat's food, tools and fishing gear overboard, cut the automatic pilot loose, pulled out a plug in the bait tank, set fire to the engine room, forced him to steer back to port by threatening him with a shotgun and butcher knives, because the cook wanted to visit his pregnant wife.

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