La Difference. In Detroit, embarrassed because her first name sounded too masculine, Mrs. Eddie Jefferson petitioned to have it changed to Billie.

By the Book. In Trapani, Sicily, after he tried to commit suicide and missed, Giuseppe Cavallo was jailed, told it is illegal to shoot oneself without a firearms permit.

Preventive War. In Melbourne, Australia, thieves broke into the Pedigree Publications printing plant, stole 10,000 copies of a new police booklet on crime prevention.

The Bad Seed. In London, after arresting 15-year-old Frank Watt and a 17-year-old companion for robbing Watt's stepfather of $28 at knifepoint, police found an entry in Frank's diary: "Day off, go home and kill mum and dad, then take money."

Bite of Austerity. In Dallas, Tim McNulty won a divorce and custody of his false teeth after he testified that his toothless wife appropriated the plates because they couldn't afford a second pair, repaid the loan by biting him.

Qualification. In San Antonio, fined $15 for driving without a license, Henry Velasquez said he couldn't get one because of poor eyesight, told authorities his job: car jockey in a parking lot.

Business Expense. In Denver, Laundress Velma Dunlap won a divorce after she told the judge that her husband gave her money only once during their marriage, when he forked over $4 so she could advertise for more washing and ironing to take in.

Heal Thyself. In Kitchener, Ont., after being chased off a farm by an ax-waving farmer, shoved out of an apartment at gunpoint, threatened with death several times, punched in the nose, tossed down a flight of stairs, chased by dogs, Frank Fica decided to give up bill collecting, become a chiropractor.

Defense Rests. In Spring Lake, Mich., miffed at getting a speeding ticket that cost him $28.85, Norman DeVecht spotted a police car parked behind the city hall, was scheduled for another arraignment after he ripped off its siren, stop sign and red warning light, twisted a windshield wiper, bent a spotlight mounting, dented the roof.

No Confidence. In Brixham, England, Mrs. Rhoda Clarke refused to pay a -L-1 ($2.80) dog license, told a magistrate's court the things she was protesting: "H-bomb tests, German rearmament, the flouting of the Magna Carta and the Declaration of Human Rights, and British Government policy."

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