WHEN NASSER FACED ANOTHER CRISIS

An insight into Gamal Abdel Nasser's temperament and his capacity for decision and doubt, from his own Philosophy of the Revolution (1954):

I CONFESS--and I trust the Public Prosecutor will not take me to task--that [back in the '30s] political assassinations acted upon my excitable imagination to convince me that this was the positive action we had to adopt if we were to secure the future of our country. I considered the assassination of many individuals, having decided that they constituted the main obstacle between our country and its future; I began to look into their various crimes and to take it upon myself to judge ... I would weigh them, and pass the verdict.

Bullets Talk

I considered assassinating the king and some of his entourage who used to scoff at things we held sacred. I was not alone in thinking thus. And when I got together with others, our ideas began to be translated from thought into action. How many were the plans I made in those days, how numerous the sleepless nights spent preparing long-awaited positive actions.

Our life during that period was like an exciting detective story. We had dark secrets and passwords; we used to lurk in the shadows; we used to collect pistols and hand grenades, and the firing of bullets was the hope we dreamed about. We made many attempts in this direction, and I can still remember our impressions and feelings as we pressed along this path to its logical conclusion.

One Had to Go

The truth is that I was not in my heart satisfied that violence was the positive action by which we were appointed to carry out the future of our country. There was in me a perplexity, a mixed confusion of the factors of nationalism and religion, faith and doubt, knowledge and ignorance. Bit by bit, the thought of political assassination which had inflamed my imagination was losing its fire and its value in my eyes as the decisive instrument.

I remember one night which marked the turning point of my dreams. We had prepared a group for action and selected a person whom we'd decided must cease to exist. We observed his habits and laid down a detailed plan. We were going to shoot him down as he returned to his home in the night.

We set up an attack group to do the shooting, a covering force to protect the attack group, and a third group to organize the getaway. The night came, and I went out with the attack group. Everything went according to plan.

Cries Pursued Me

As we had anticipated, the field was clear. The squads concealed themselves in their chosen positions, and when the marked man came by, bullets were sent in his direction. The execution squad withdrew while the covering force protected its retreat, and the getaway to safety began. I started the motor of my car and drove away.

But suddenly there resounded in my ear the sounds of screaming, and lamentation and the wailing of a woman, the crying of a baby, and then an agitated call for help.

Submerged in a host of excited impressions, I was carried away swiftly by my car. But then a strange thing happened. The sounds continued to tear at my hearing, the screams and lamentation, the wailing and the agitated calls for help. I had by this time gone farther than the sounds could possibly reach, but still they continued as if they were attached to me and chasing me.

I arrived at my house and threw myself on my bed, my mind in a furor and unceasing turmoil in my heart and conscience. The sounds of screaming and lamentation, wailing, and the calls for help continued to ring in my ears.

Thoughts in the Night

I didn't sleep all night. I remained flat on my back in my bed in the dark, smoking one cigarette after another, trying to collect my excited thoughts, but they were scattered by the sounds pursuing me.

Was I right? I answered myself with conviction: I acted for the sake of my country.

Is it really possible to change the future of our country by eliminating this or that person, or is the problem deeper? I said to myself in perplexity, I almost think the problem is deeper.

Which is more important, to eliminate those who ought to be eliminated or to bring forward those who should be brought forward? I said to myself: No, the important thing is to bring forward those who are needed--we dream of the glory of the nation; it is necessary to build that glory.

I asked myself, tossing on my bed: Therefore?

I hear a shout echo back: Therefore what? And I say to myself, with conviction this time: Therefore, we must change our methods . . . And I sensed a serene inner peace.

But this serenity was soon shattered by the sounds of screams and lamentation, wailing and calls for help, echoes of which never stopped sounding in my ears. To my surprise, I found myself saying, I hope he doesn't die! Strange. It was almost daybreak, and there I was hoping the man I'd wanted to die the evening before would live. I hurried anxiously to get a morning paper, and how glad I was that the one I'd planned to assassinate was out of danger.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.