Joy Unconfined. In Blair, Neb., the weekly Enterprise carried a classified ad: "LOST: light blue dress night of Share-the-Fun Contest."

For This Relief ... In Thousand Oaks, Calif., ailing E. E. Brossard, 71, agreed to submit to a rubdown from two professed faith healers who promised it would make him "feel relieved," found after the massagers left that they had relieved him of his wallet and $800.

Consumer Reaction. In Hollywood, goaded by the sight of glittering new Oldsmobiles in an auto agency, unemployed Painter Clifford Frazier wheeled his dilapidated 1951 Chevrolet through the showroom window, smashed against a new Holiday sedan, explained: "I was mad at the world."

Bell Boy. In Stubbs Bay, Minn., when exasperated residents demanded to know why he drove through the town in an ancient hearse and clanged a locomotive bell each day at 6 a.m., noon, 6 p.m. and 9 p.m., Farm Caretaker Tom Riley, 73, explained: "A fellow ought to have some fun before he dies."

Striking Home. In East Chicago, Ind., a constituent asked Mayor Walter M. Jeorse to get a job for his steel-striker brother-in-law, explaining: "He supports my mother-in-law, and if he doesn't, I've got to."

Problem Drinker. In San Francisco, after a doctor got her tongue unstuck from a pop bottle, nine-year-old Kathleen Owens asked for the bottle, explained: "It isn't empty and I'm still thirsty."

Rock of Ages. In Lancaster, Wis., Newcombe Watchorn, 85, got a divorce on the grounds that his wife said she was 61 years old when she was really 71, explained he found her true birth date on the tombstone of her previous husband.

Civil Defense. In East Los Angeles, after alarmed residents reported an explosion, six patrol cars, a detective car, an ambulance and six fire engines raced to the blast area, found Motorist Anthony Gams standing beside his 1947 Chrysler inspecting a blown-out tire.

Two-Time Loser. In Chicago, after Paul E. Bell placed a bet, the bookie identified himself as a detective and the horse, So Bet Me, fell dead in the race.

Flattop's Boy. In Trenton, Tenn., after an eight-hour police inspection, Minneapolis Tourist John Sward was allowed to proceed south in his 1942 Oldsmobile equipped with hot plate, fully stocked icebox, cooking utensils, groceries, bed, solar-heated water tank, showerbath, and, lashed to the roof, a bicycle for use in case of breakdowns.

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