Quality Control. In El Paso, Charles Steen refused to plead guilty to having stolen a mere Cadillac, had the charge changed to read "Cadillac Coupe de Ville," explained that he never bothered with anything but the best.

Coup de Grace. In Beverly Hills, Calif., Cab Driver Perry Tartas reported to police that three men held him up, got away with $22 while one, left behind to finish the job, muttered before he ran to join his confederates: "I'll give you a break; I'm supposed to slug you; pretend you're hurt."

Know Thyself. In Greensboro, N.C., Herman Lamm, serving a 15-year prison term for robbing a bank, appealed to have his case reopened on grounds of insanity, announced that he had worn a work shirt with his employer's name and address on it during the holdup, claimed that "this is not compatible to the action of a sane person who is about to rob a bank."

O Promise Me. In Marysville, Kans., Probate Judge P. R. Pulleine received a request from an absent-minded husband: "Will you please tell me the name of the woman I married there in 1918?"

Unfinished Business. In St. Paul, Dave Williams and Willard Brazil were rearrested when, cleared of auto-theft charges, they walked out of the city police station, stole a taxicab.

Name-Dropper. In Milwaukee, forced by the election commission to run for alderman under his full name. Roderick Peter Lanser started proceedings to have his name legally changed to Rod, explained in circuit court that Roderick sounded too fancy, wealthy and effeminate for the voters in his ward.

The Hasty Heart. In Long Beach, Calif., Harriett Isabell Barfoot. 83, filed suit to annul her nine-day marriage to Thomas Barfoot, 83. told the court that her husband proved to be "what is commonly known as a woman chaser."

Witness for the Prosecution. In Union City, N.J., Hudson County Prosecutor Frederick T. Law neglected to tell all the members of his team that he planned to raid a local bookmaker's establishment, encountered at the scene: a city detective, a police lieutenant, one of the mayor's aides, the father and cousin of the deputy police chief.

The Voice of the Turtle. In New Orleans, two notices appeared in the personals column of the Times-Picayune: 1) "Not responsible for debts contracted by my wife. Myrtle Berner. William Berner." 2) "William P. Berner was never responsible for my debts. I paid mine and his also. Myrtle Berner."

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