Desert Song. In Milwaukee, Mrs. Marjorie Pattengale, suing for divorce, charged that her husband upset her by his continual singing of the same song: I Wish I Were Single Again.

A Word to the Audience. In London, Cambridge Archaeologist Dr. Glyn Daniel, 41, took his place as M.C. on a TV quiz show, studied the sheaf of poisoned arrows he was asking a panel of experts to identify, remarked moodily: "I should like to kill a few million people, and most of them would be viewers."

The Defense Rests. In Chicago, when police questioned him about the attempted robbery of a warehouse, Edward ("Butch") Panczko, a veteran of 63 arrests, indignantly protested his innocence: "I don't know nothing, and I can prove it; I was home in bed blind drunk."

Conditioned Response. In Greensboro, N.C., a week after he got an eight-month suspended sentence for stealing ex-Mayor Benjamin Cone's Oldsmobile, Ardell Reece was picked up by police, charged with hit-and-run driving, reckless driving, driving without a permit, stealing and wrecking Superior Court Judge L. Richardson Preyer's Chrysler convertible.

Analysis of the Id. In St. Joseph, Mo., Prisoner Lester Penney asked Jailer Pete Murphy to give him a lie-detector test, explained that he had been drinking for 25 years and "I think I want to stop; my idea is to take the test to see if I'm lying to myself."

Party of the First Part. In Newark, Ohio, after reporting to police that his car was being followed. Dr. Guy D. Reed discovered that the first car behind him was driven by his estranged wife's lawyer, the second car by a friend who was looking out for Reed's interests, a third by his wife's private detective.

Study in Currency. In Tucson, Ariz., Manuel Celaya was booked for drunkenness after he called police to report that somebody had robbed him of "three four-dollar bills and four three-dollar bills."

Cry Havoc! In San Diego, Bus Driver Harlan Frank Beers, 28, was finally locked up for making false reports after he had repeatedly called the police and fire departments in a single day to announce that 1) three men had slugged him with an ax and tied him to the steering post of his bus, 2) he had received a threatening note demanding $25,000, and 3) his house was on fire.

For Worse. In Wayne, Mich., police charged that Fred K. Owen bought engagement and wedding rings with bad checks after neglecting to divorce wives two and three, stole his third wife's car for a honeymoon with wife No. 4.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.