Hypotenuse. In Paris, Polydore Muyelle 70, got a 13-month suspended prison term after he stabbed and wounded his 60-year-old sweetheart, explained indignantly to the court: "She preferred that horrible old man of 78!"

Quiz Kid. In Burnaby, B.C., charged with intent to commit a crime after he was caught sitting in his car in front of a bank with the plates covered and the motor running, John A. Martin, 50, explained to police: he wore dark glasses because he suffered from snow blindness, wore a handkerchief-mask to protect his throat, had a loaded .22 rifle in the car because he had been robbed of $300 three weeks before.

Self-Portrait. In West New York, N.J., jailed on the complaint of his wife, Watch Repairman William Schroeder admitted in court that he had been out carousing for 37 hours, replied indignantly when asked by the judge to describe his condition on his arrival home: "Well, I wasn't drunk, that's for sure!"

The Victim. In Clinton, Tenn., returning from the kitchen, Waitress Pearl Hogue spotted a would-be thief as he stuck his hand in the cash register, flung a cup of coffee in his face, sent him scurrying out the door as she bounced the pot off his head.

The Legal Mind. In Munich, after he was sentenced to a three-day jail term or a 15-mark ($4.70) fine in 1952 for illegal fishing, Robert Adler spent a day in jail and then disappeared, got picked up by the Russians and shipped to Vorkuta slave labor camp for three years, was collared by Berlin authorities when he finally returned, forced to pay the 10-mark balance of his fine.

The Direct Approach. In Culver City, Calif, officials in the Department of Motor Vehicles agreed that Mrs. Clara Lee Gildreth would have to try again to get her driver's license--after she pulled in for a road test, hurtled the curb, punched through the side of the building, crashed into the license-application counter.

The Tool Box. In Los Angeles, police looked for the noisy customer who walked into Jimmy Ostroff's bar, was refused a "screwdriver" (vodka and orange juice), robbed Owner Ostroff of $200 at gun point while he bellowed: "If I can't have a screwdriver, how do you like this?"

So Big. In Tokyo, City School Board Spokesman Masami Tsujita defended the board's disputed decision not to employ teachers under 5 ft. tall: "There are many difficulties involving teachers less than 5 ft. ... In outdoor activities it is difficult to locate her; in the classroom she will not be able to reach the top of the blackboard."

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