Hare Shirt. In Jersey City, arrested on a stolen-car charge following a wild police chase during which five shots were fired, Peter Rabbitt III, 20, blamed his heavy drinking and his long police record on his name: "Every time you guys ask me my name and I say 'Peter Rabbitt,' you lock me up for being a wise guy."

Special Delivery. In London, Mrs. Malvina Sweeden went to the National Assis tance Board to ask for money to help support her five children, gave birth to her sixth in the board's office.

Also Ran. In North Adams, Mass., defeated in his drive to win a seat on the city council, Edward V. Dempsey submitted his expense form: "No contributions, no expenditures, no success."

Handiwork. In Chicago, with a divorce suit pending. Mrs. Eleanor Fitzpatrick had her husband summoned to court on a charge that he "tormented" her by constantly snapping his fingers under her nose.

Not As a Stranger. In San Francisco, the burglary trial of Edward J. Devlin was interrupted when a police inspector tapped Juror Vernon F. Bartholomew outside the courtroom, arrested him on a bad check charge.

The Line. In London, Joyce Wells Ltd., mail-order house, offered oil paintings for sale for only $49.95: "A magnificent hunting panel, a lady with lovely eyes or a gentleman you will be proud to claim as your ancestor."

Through Channels. In Turin, Italy, Giovanni Petrini, 79, received official army notification that his promotion to sergeant, first proposed in 1898, had finally come through.

Relief Pitcher. In Norwalk, Calif., William J. Pivar was booked on a charge of malicious mischief after he threw an ashtray through a police-station window, told the cops who came out and arrested him: "I feel better now."

Big Steal. In Valcourt, Que., after he bought a 40-ft. bridge from the Canadian Pacific Railway for scrap steel and arrived with a crew to dismantle it, Marcel Guilbert was told by neighboring farmers that a group of men had carted it off piece by piece three years ago.

The Wrong Spirit. In Niigata, Japan, after her home was destroyed by fire, Mrs. Iwama, 25, protested in a letter to the Niigata Nippo that friends had been sending sake as a condolence gift: "At such a time one hopes that the men will work cleaning up the debris, but all they do is drink sake, talk much, get drunk, and end up snoring loudly. It is very discouraging to a poor housewife."

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