First Things First. In Tauranga. New Zealand, Postman James Duncan, 41, was fined $56 after post-office repairmen found under the floor boards 1,200 Christmas letters, which Duncan had hidden there when he realized that he had no time to deliver the mail and attend a Christmas Eve party as well.

Political Scents. In Brewton, Ala., the Brewton Standard polled its readers to find out whether they favored the proposed construction of a local paper mill, announced that 3,936 had voted "to smell," only eleven "not to smell."

Bygones. In Wethersfield, Conn., appearing before the State Pardons Board to plead for release from the State Farm for Women, Inmate Mrs. Florence Pinkney explained that she was sorry she had shot and killed her husband, promised: "It won't happen again."

Allergy. In Milwaukee, when police tried to arrest him for being AWOL, Private John D. Lattimore, 24, attacked his captors, later explained to the judge: "Any kind of an officer--Army or police --makes me nervous."

Two & Two. In Elmira, N.Y., sharp-eyed readers of the Elmira Star-Gazette noticed two unsettling ads in the classified section: 1) "Sausage stuffer wanted; phone Montour Falls 4986." and 2) "Paying up to $6 for standing horses, up to $6 for disabled cows and horses; dead animals removed free of charge; call collect 4986, Montour Falls Rendering Works."

Life with Father. In Cincinnati, J. Riley lost his suit for divorce after wife Lillie Riley testified that he had fathered twelve children by her, five (including twins) by four other women, added caustically: "When he tried to bring home the twins, Judge, I refused."

Heart of the Matter. In Milwaukee, after police had searched in vain through a furniture company for the intruder who had broken a glass door panel, Mrs. Claudia Mae Oldenburg called, confessed: "l was out with a gentleman friend last night drinking; on the way home I got an urge to break a window and go into the store," was asked why she had phoned, explained, "I got another urge."

Now Hear This. In Council Bluffs, Iowa, alarmed because the air-raid sirens of Omaha, just across the Missouri River, do not provide full coverage, Civil Defense Chairman Ernest Woolsey announced his own plans for alerting everyone by 1) sending up a 7,000-ft. column of red smoke, 2) exploding an aerial fireworks bomb, 3) releasing helium-filled balloons, and 4) spraying Council Bluffs with a mixture of powdered sugar and peppermint, so that the warning could be both smelled and tasted.

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