Humanist Heresies

One of the 20th century's more fashionable agnostic creeds is "scientific humanism." That creed is not without its heresies, and in last week's humanistic New Statesman and Nation, competitors matched wits in naming them. Samples:

"Clerastianism: That heresy which accepts the supremacy of the clergy in family affairs. Members of the sect submit their infants to ceremonial headwetting while placing the tongue in a ritual position in the cheek, precede their nuptial rites by ancient formulae to which they make mental reservations, and bury their ancestors only after a ceremony which they believe will ensure respectability if not immortality.

"One Wee Prayer-Ism: The shocking heresy that, in moments of acute stress and danger, one wee prayer is permissible. This may be attributed, later, to behaviouristic reflex responses.

"Antidisestablishmentarianism: The belief that the established church should be preserved as a bulwark against religious enthusiasm.

"Diabolarianism: The belief that while it may now be confidently asserted that there is no God it is not yet safe to say the same about the Devil.

"Somewhere-Elsers: Those who, despite their humanist indoctrination, cannot help thinking that, although there can be no 'heaven' for them to be in, their dead exist somehow-else, somewhere-else."

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