In the Gutter. In Compton, Calif., James A. Beasley was fined $100 for reckless flying, despite his explanation that "I was flying too low because my wife wanted to point out the bowling alley where she bowled."

Discount Rate. In Baltimore, Anna Foll testified that her estranged husband, Albert Foll, waited until she cashed her $75 weekly alimony check, then forcibly took the money away from her to pay the next week's alimony installment.

Eclectic. In lola, Kans., granted a divorce from Clara Kimzey, 70, and warned that he could not remarry for six months, Thomas Kimzey, 99, commented: "I understand that, Judge, but it won't keep me from browsing around."

Lesser Evil. In Homeville, Pa., when Burglar Edward Maszle was given his choice of spending 18 months in a reformatory or a penitentiary, he told the judge: "I prefer the penitentiary because there are too many young punks in reformatories who would get me in trouble."

Bitter Brew. In London, Lawyer Sydney Pothecary explained that Ada Biggs had left her son, George Dodds, out of her -L-18,000 ($50,000) will because she did not like the way he made tea.

Under Par. In Chattanooga, arrested on a charge of public drunkenness, William R. Coleman protested to police: "It takes a quart and a pint to make me drunk, and I've only had a quart."

Standstill. In Detroit, charges of illegal overnight parking against Anthony Azoury were dismissed after he told the traffic referee: "I couldn't move it because the night before, someone stole three wheels."

Ounce of Prevention. In Manila, P.I., arrested on 24 assorted charges of robbery, Amado Manlapaz complained to Judge Bienvenido Tan: "If I had been arrested earlier, I never would have had the chance to commit so many crimes."

Coated Pill. In Wisconsin Dells, Wis., Charles Van Wie attached flowerpots and clinging vines to the parking meters in front of his curio store, explained that he wanted to make his customers happier as they put their nickels in.

Split Ticket. In Denver, after passing out 250 matchbooks advertising his candidacy for the House of Representatives, Democrat Albert Cohen noted with horror that the books also urged citizens to vote Republican.

Spit & Polish. In Dublin, Ga., Shoeshine Boy Charlie Williams was arrested for giving away a slug of moonshine whisky with every shine.

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