Finely Bred. In Phenix City, Ala., when three bloodhounds were put on the trail of a fugitive: 1) all refused to enter the woods until a reporter stomped out a trail for them, 2) one dog got lost, 3) a second followed the scent of one of the cops, 4) a third got sick riding in a truck, 5) all three got hay fever from sniffing the dusty ground.

Polonaise. In Van Nuys, Calif., Mrs. Constance Nissenson, 41, was fined $16 for speeding 45 m.p.h. in a 25-mile zone, despite her plea that "I saw Liberace in his new Cadillac, and I wanted to catch up to get a good look at him."

Service Entrance. In Detroit, police began looking for a man who smashed a 4-by-6-in. window of the Dearborn Beer Distributors and stole nine cases of beer --bottle by bottle.

Without Prejudice. In Vancouver, B.C., when Mrs. Imogene Lakey took the wheel of a car for the first time in 14 years, got arrested on charges of driving "while her ability was impaired," her lawyer argued that her ability had not been impaired because she had no driving ability to begin with.

The Flesh Is Weak. In Duluth, a gunman mailed back $60 of the $200 he had stolen from Grocer Ezzy Lebo, enclosed a note: "I have a tremendous conscience, but I also have a stomach that is bigger than my conscience."

Out at Home. In Killdeer, N.Dak., J. K. Eckes, president of the North Dakota Firemen's Association, was fined $2 for parking too close to a fire hydrant.

Doghouse. In Dallas, the Times Herald ran an unsigned classified ad: "My husband's $50 Scotties for a lot less. If he answers, hang up."

Ambitious Undertaking. In Merced, Calif., a thief stole a station wagon parked behind the Ivers & Alcorn mortuary, abandoned it hurriedly upon discovering that the large canvas in the back covered a corpse.

Running Start. In Melbourne, Australia, arrested for drunkenness after downing 40 beers in 70 minutes, Traveling Salesman Harrie Killingsworth begged police not to lock him up because he was "trying to get to a party."

Private Investigator. In Pittsburgh, after reporting to police that he had been robbed of a $150 stickpin in the tough Hill Section, William McNulty returned to the area to do a little sleuthing on his own, got mugged and robbed of $52 and a $1,000 ring, returned to the police station and reported the second robbery, got thrown in jail to keep him out of further trouble.

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