Sauce for the Gander. In Chicago, Vito Piovosi, seeking an injunction to keep wife Helen from molesting him, testified that when he cooked a roast loin of pork for Sunday dinner, she: 1) shouted, "What, no applesauce?" 2) threw roast and platter at him, 3) picked up the platter and broke it over his head, knocking him unconscious, 4) poured hot gravy over him as he lay on the floor, 5) stalked out of the house and never returned.

Baited Breath. In Memphis, although not charged with drunken driving, Motorist Howard O. Wright insisted on a drunkometer test, flunked it, was fined $51 in addition to the original $26 for reckless driving.

Seven Up. In Graz, Austria, after swallowing seven live mice to win a 35-c- bet, Farmhand Johann Lugge was arrested, charged with cruelty to animals.

Confidence. In Chicago, accused of stealing $40 at gun point, Eddie Clark confidently protested, "Your Honor, I'm a confidence man. I tricked him out of the money and I never had a gun," had his charge reduced from armed robbery to petty larceny.

Constitutional. In Lewisburg, Ohio, John F. Lock won a 52-year battle to get his rural mailbox moved 1,056 ft. nearer his home after he proved that he had already walked 6,250 miles to pick up his mail.

Gamy Diet. In Pittsburgh, when police asked John L. Lloyd and Marbon Crumpton to explain what they were up to, Lloyd replied innocently that he had just eaten lunch, then coughed up eight numbers slips.

The American Way. In Passaic, N.J., Mrs. Tamara Gryszakan told police she fought with her husband because: "In Poland I worked like a horse. In Germany I worked like a horse. But when we came here I found out husbands are supposed to support their wives. That's what the fight was about."

Carat Topped. In Los Angeles, a notice was posted in police headquarters in City Hall: "18-carat white-gold engagement ring with 12 diamonds to trade for a .38-cal., 2-in. barreled revolver."

Ex Post Facto. In Indianapolis, Isaac ("Tuffy") Mitchell, serving 90 days in the Indiana State Prison for gambling, applied for and was issued a federal gambling stamp for "wagering."

Gumshoe. In Toledo, while investigating a murder. Sheriff's Captain Alfred Bartkowiak excitedly warned other officers to keep away from a "perfect" heel print until a plaster cast could be made, found out next day it was his own.

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