The Engagement. In Detroit, after applying for a marriage license in 1942, Thomas J. Neary, 59; finally appeared at the county clerk's office to claim his license, explained why he had waited eleven years: "We had a few disagreements about details ..."

Slow Student. In Carthage, Mo., James Ketchum, 22, was arrested after stocking up on magazines at a newsstand, telling the vendor he was going to college to study criminology, paying for the magazines with a bum $5 check.

Missing Ingredient. In Knoxville, Tenn., when the umpire called "Play ball" to start a game between the home team and nearby Morristown, no one moved, and the home team management, discovering that it was out of baseballs, had to forfeit the game, 9-0.

The Word. In Toledo, Mrs. Lizzie Hopkins reported to police that thieves had slashed open the top of her convertible, ignored other loot to make off with a Bible from the glove compartment.

Future Buying. In Chelsea, Mass., relief officials discovered that a 68-year-old welfare recipient had used his $80 monthly payments to buy a $1,200 casket, a $175 concrete burial vault.

Seasonal Irritant. In Akron, after having her husband arrested because he "sings when he drinks ... I just can't stand that singing," Mrs. Cloice M. Young was asked how often he sang, replied: "Oh, about once every six months."

Necessity. In Elyria, Ohio, Crawford Casebolt, charged with auto theft, explained that he needed a car to report to authorities in Tennessee where he is on parole for auto theft.

Savings Plan. In Las Vegas, Nev., Motorist Ray N. Hall slept in his car to save on hotel bills, woke up to find $150 worth of luggage stolen, went to call police, returned to find the rest of his belongings gone.

Sportsmanship. In El Paso, Army Cook Perry Carlyle, arrested on a charge of selling 21 Ibs. of marijuana to a Government undercover agent, protested: "Those guys don't play fair."

Leave-Taking. In Pikeville, Ky., Jack Clements, arrested for possession of burglary tools, escaped from the county jail, left behind a note: "I hate to cause any excitement, but I am leaving town."

Sanctuary. In Mobile, Ala., Barber Carl B. Pennington, pleading for a weekend in jail, told police: "I've got a nagging wife . . . I've got ulcers ... I can't stand the strain any longer . . . Please lock me up."

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