Monday, Jun. 01, 1953
The Duck Hunter
Twelve times since the story of the Truman Administration tax scandals began to unfold, big, molasses-voiced Theron Lamar ("Sweet Thing") Caudle had been hauled before congressional committees to explain why he called off prosecution in various tax cases while he was Truman's Assistant Attorney General in charge of the tax division. Twelve times, he had plaintively explained to investigators that he acted only out of 1) simple humanity, or 2) a country boy's bewilderment at the big city, or 3) deference to orders from above. Last week Caudle was back before a House subcommittee to explain why he dropped a tax case against one Isadore Alford of Nashville in 1950. This time the Congressmen thought they might have a lead to a fourth motive--influence--when they popped a blunt question: Wasn't it true that Lamar had been taken on a duck hunt, and thus influenced, by Alford's attorney?
Beaming, Lamar said he had gone on the duck hunt--but that he definitely had not been influenced. It was, he said, a "messed-up" duck hunt. The weather was cold, he didn't like to kill ducks, he had no heavy clothing--and he only agreed to go because "the brethren" (including Alford's attorney) had made all the preparations.
"I borrowed a pair of long drawers that were too big, and a pair of pants that were too tight," he said. "I was uncomfortable all the time." The river camp to which the party repaired made him nervous--it floated on empty gasoline drums, and "when the Mississippi went up, the house went up with it." Furthermore, at 5 in the morning, everybody else decided to stay by the fire. Lamar and his then assistant, Turner L. Smith, dutifully set out with a guide--who quickly demonstrated that he was drunk by heading their powerboat straight for a grove of trees.
"The boat parted those trees," Lamar recalled, "just like you part your hair with a comb." And when he discovered the water around the duck blind was frozen, the guide tried to use the boat as an icebreaker. "All of a sudden," said Lamar, "I noticed that the ice had sawed the boat in two. The water was aflyin' . . . but we made it back to the blind. We stayed there three or four hours. Finally some old duck came in by mistake. Smith grabbed a gun . . . and hit a decoy . . .
"Finally somebody picked us up.
"When I got back to the hotel, I pulled open the bureau drawer and put my hand on the Gideon and said: 'Lord, never let me be tempted to go on another duck hunt.' Then I called my wife to tell her I was safe."
After they stopped laughing, the committee members sighed in resignation, and went on with the hearing as if they too felt that poor old Lamar had already suffered enough.
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