Battle of Bedlam

Roy B. Smith was one man who hated noise. Whenever he moved about his new "luxury" apartment in Baling, London, his neighbor's dogs barked. No man (at that time) to create an incident, Bachelor Smith took to mincing about his apartment on tiptoes. After six years of tiptoeing, the habit had become so natural that he was surprised, and impressed, by the routine noises made by some friends to whom he once sublet his apartment. Said Smith, a robust mechanical engineer: "I decided that my timorous manner was unnecessary. I decided to live a more normal life."

Once he got down off his tiptoes, Smith began to hear noises he had not noticed before: gurgling water pipes, excessive coughing, the ringing of unanswered telephones, strange tappings. Using a homemade stethoscope, he traced the noises to the apartment of Mr. & Mrs. Ralph Mason directly below him. Smith sent an ultimatum to the Masons: they must keep reasonably quiet, "otherwise our relationship as neighbors will develop into open warfare." The Masons, without a pledge of quiet, asked Mr. Smith to explain. The only answer they got was noise.

They heard Smith moving his furniture, tapping the floor, stomping about, vacuum cleaning, banging the garbage pail, shoveling coal at all hours of the day & night, digging after dark in a garden by the Masons' windows. As soon as he went out, his telephone began ringing. Then they began hearing hit, new clocks--a half hourly loud chimer and an especially vigorous cuckoo clock--right above their bedroom. The Masons moved their bed into the living room, a maneuver that did not escape Smith's stethoscope. The clocks moved into the room directly above. Once during a three-day absence Smith left his radio blaring away and the police were called in. Smith said it was an oversight. For another two years the battle of bedlam went on. Other neighbors began to complain. One threatened to beat up Smith. After plaster-shivering crashes began causing their small daughter to have vomiting fits, the Masons decided to sue for damages.

In court last week Engineer Smith showed surprise at the Masons' complaints, explained that he was leading a normal bachelor life and doing his housework at night. As for the clocks: he needed them to keep time. The judge ordered him to pay the Masons $294, charged him another $2,800 for court costs. Said Smith: "There seems to be a frightfully antagonistic atmosphere around me." He would look for a nice quiet place in the country, he said.

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