Dead Reckoning. In El Paso, Attorney Harold Potash, asking the city council to pave a road past a cemetery, wrote: "I am certain the inhabitants of the cemetery would appreciate it."

The Quiet Man. In Melbourne, Australia, Evelyn Joyce Watkins was granted a divorce after testifying that her husband had not spoken a word to her in three years.

Sure Shot. In Hunstanton, England, Farmer Edward Walker took out an insurance policy to cover any property damage his two energetic and ingenious sons, aged three and six, may cause during the next 15 years.

The Stony Path. In San Antonio, while attending a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, a 65-year-old man slipped and broke his hip, was carted off to the hospital muttering: "If I'd been drunk this never would have happened."

Cool Heads. In Winchester, N.H., the candidates for town moderator included Forest Frost and Stanley Snow.

Disproved. In Rouen, France, Policeman Rene Collomb put his hand inside the lion's cage at the.zoo to show his little daughter that the lion wasn't a "nasty" beast, got it clawed.

A Little Knowledge ... In Green Bay, Wis., St. Norbert College Professor John Bartone reported that 350 "highly trained" cockroaches were missing from his car.

Extremity. In Jamestown, N.Y., when his teacher told 15-year-old Anthony Foti that only a broken leg would be an excuse for missing the next day's exam, he went out to play football, broke his leg.

Room Service. In Cleveland, looking for a warm place to sleep, Clayton Dailey tossed a brick through a store window, was plainly irritated with the police, when they arrived, for taking so long to haul him to jail.

Powers of Darkness. In Raleigh, N.C., just before two married couples went on trial for drunkenness and assaulting a cop, a friend of theirs went through the courtroom sprinkling yellowish "conjure powder" around the judge's chair and along the jury box, later rejoiced over a hung jury.

We, the People. In Waldwick, N.J., the borough council pondered the situation handed them when the electorate, on three referendums, voted: 1) to start a full-time marshal system, 2) to keep the old marshal system (one man on call for 24 hours), 3) to refuse the council's request for $20,000 to pay for full-time marshal protection.

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