Triangle. In Portland, Me., Mrs. Marie Van Zelm, suing for divorce, complained that her husband: 1) hung his late first wife's clothes in their bedroom closet, 2) kept an urn of her ashes in the living room, 3) framed her pressed funeral flowers on the wall, 4) always bought two Christmas trees and explained, "One is for us [meaning the first wife], the other is for you."

Suspense. In New Haven, Conn., the wedding of John Granfield was postponed when, two days before the ceremony, both the prospective groom and his best man brother collapsed with ulcers, were carted off to the hospital.

Green for Danger. In Milwaukee, Police Chief John W. Polcyn, advising members of his force not to be fooled by the sweet breath of suspected motorists, launched a new course in detecting chlorophylled drunks.

Guided Missile. In Bridgeport, Conn., Walter Bennett, suing for divorce, testified that when he remonstrated with his wife for keeping animals on their living-room sofa, she hit him in the face with their lap dog.

How Do I Love Thee? In New London, Conn., when Family Man Julian Recanati was brought into court by a young woman who was uninterested in his flirtation, the judge ordered him to go home to his wife and to quit annoying the complainant with 465-page love letters.

Everything, Including ... In Tokyo, the Navy announced that Lieut, (j.g.) Carl B. Austin, aboard the carrier Princeton, had attached a kitchen sink to a 1,000-lb. bomb and dropped it on a major North Korean city to let the Reds know "we mean business."

Slow Cure. In Mesa, Ariz., Justice of the Peace Jack Hunsaker decided that jailing drunken drivers "only works a hardship on wives and children," declared that from now on he would sentence them to church for ten consecutive Sundays.

Auto-Neurosis. In Bridgeport, Conn., charged with setting eight cars on fire, George Brandt told police: "I couldn't afford to own an automobile . . . and I didn't want anyone else to have one."

Cold Comfort. In Everett, Mass., Grocer Fred Bailey, locked in his freezer room by a pretty blonde customer and robbed of $60, remarked, after being rescued 20 minutes later: "She seemed to be such a very nice person."

Let the Punishment Fit. In Boston, after hearing the case of a man charged with stealing five law books, Judge Frank W. Tomasello told the defendant: "I have to throw the book at you": 30 days.

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