Speaking Frankly. In Sydney, Australia, delayed by local floods, Lecturer Robert Stevens was forced to cancel a talk before the University of Sydney's geological society entitled: "Why Is a Geologist Interested in Water?"

O Pioneers! In Tucson, Ariz., the city council voted to abolish two old ordinances requiring 1) city prisoners on public works to be shackled with ball & chain, and 2) churches to maintain convenient cuspidors.

The Fine Print. In Morehead City, N.C., three months after the Chamber of Commerce issued a booklet claiming that the temperature never reaches more than 97DEG there, the mercury hit 107DEG.

Red Letter Day. In Hackensack, N.J., Anthony Adamo, 32, hotly denied his wife's charges that he had mistreated her, told the judge: "I never laid a hand on my wife since I broke her arm on Jan. 5, 1950."

Cool Profit. In Levittown, N.Y., nine-year-old Russell Green stocked up his family's home freezer last winter, waited until the temperature reached 96DEG to advertise: "For Sale: Genuine Snowballs--15-c-."

Blue Urge. In San Antonio, after he was arrested trying to steal a police launch on the San Antonio River, George R. Perry, 19, explained: "I want to be a cop."

Free Lesson. In Lawrenceburg, Ky., Prisoner Gordon Searcy escaped from Anderson County jail promising, in a note he left the jailer, to "show you how when I come back."

Dual Controls. In Green Bay, Wis., after investigating an automobile accident, Patrolmen Milo Kerin and Donald La Combe reported the driver's explanation: "One passenger said turn left, another go straight. Tried both."

Postal Regulations. In Ottawa, Canadian army brass issued an order prohibiting soldiers overseas from mailing to friends at home: "motor vehicles, airplanes, motorcycles, surgical and dental instruments and machine tools."

Early Birds. In Bourg-Saint-Andeol, France, Mayor Pierre Tieri sternly advised local fishermen that theirs was "an agreeable pastime, but you are absolutely forbidden to tear up paving in the streets in order to search for worms."

Woman's Intuition. In Somersworth, N.H., Mrs. Boardman Wright Jr. dozed off during a motor trip, dreamed that she was involved in a crash, escaped injury after she awoke with a start, grabbed the wheel from her husband, causing their car to overturn.

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