Lion's Mouth. In Glasgow, Pickpocket Francis Ryan got a 60-day sentence after he unwittingly plied his trade on an excursion steamer carrying 20 Glasgow policemen and their wives.

Wrong Answer. In Great Falls, Mont., Earl Phipps, 58, panhandled money by showing prospects a sign reading: "I am deaf and dumb," landed in jail after a policeman asked him where the sign was, and he replied: "Right here in my pocket."

Occupied Zone. In Sydney, Australia, William C. R. Turner was granted a divorce after he charged that his wife's lover 1) lived at the Turner home for 18 months, entering and leaving by Mrs. Turner's bedroom window, 2) beat him up, and 3) regularly chased him into the street.

Rising Temperature. In Guymon, Okla., the Rev. James C. Hester, pastor of the Church of the Nazarene, chose as the topic of his Sunday sermon: "Will Hell Be as Hot as the Republican National Convention?"

Over 21. In Lichfield, England, during his trial for being AWOL, Private Cornelius C. Knight, 28, told the court-martial he had married a woman who told him she was 32 when she was really 51 and "I just went all to pieces."

Signed & Sealed. In Lisbon. Policeman Rogerio Gracinha arrested himself for gambling away money entrusted to his care, methodically drew up a full confession, then locked himself in jail.

The Bite. In Hof, Germany, Brewery Worker Karl Wunderlich, 24, was convicted of breaking into a delicatessen after police fitted his teeth to marks left in the end of a 2-lb. salami.

Reveille. In Joliet, Ill., William A. Hall, 22, dozed while his car swerved into a power pole and plunged 100 ft. to the bottom of a quarry, where he stepped out unhurt but wide awake.

Day of Reckoning. In New Haven, Conn., after Federal Rent Control Director Clarence C. Westerberg had issued 9,000 eviction certificates, he got notice of his own eviction from the city-owned Hall of Records.

Helping Hand. In Sacramento, Hubert Earl Buntain, 65, questioned by authorities about at least eight marriages, explained: "It is in my system to help others."

All in the Family. In Norfolk, Va., Mary Wilson was set upon by a strange man who cut her left arm, bit the middle finger of her left hand, took a look at her, and said apologetically: "I beg your pardon--I thought you were my wife."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.