Perpetual Motion. In Brisbane, Australia, Edward Eugene Ebzery, jailed for the 588th time for drunkenness, philosophized: "A bloke's like a concertina--if he's not coming in he's coming out."

Age Limit. In Boston, Robert Tucker fed liquor to his three-year-old son Anthony, was found innocent of contributing to the child's delinquency when a court ruled that the state statute applies only to children 7 to 17.

Feathered Friends. In Mansfield, Ohio, police found two fat hens under the coat of a man who insisted: "I was walking down the street and they followed me."

Sound Investment. In Long Beach, Calif., Mrs. Agnes Roche, 39, divorcee with eight children, was swamped with answers to her newspaper ad offering to marry "a nice man who wants a lot of income-tax exemptions."

The Company He Keeps. In Utica,

N.Y., Figaro, pet cat at the Moser & Cotins advertising agency, began to look sick, was found to be suffering from ulcers.

Status of Man. In Geneva, Switzerland, John G. S. Beith of Great Britain, the lone male delegate at opening sessions of the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women, uttered not one word.

Bed of Thorns. In Detroit, Mrs. Raymond Kidd won a divorce after testifying that her husband tossed her into her mother's rosebush, told her: "Your mother can have you back."

Reveille. In Birmingham, England, Ephraim Morgan got a divorce from his 47-year-old wife on grounds of cruelty after he charged that she vacuumed the floor outside his bedroom door every day at 4 a.m.

Static. In Philadelphia, an annual Friends report, chiding local Quakers for too much talk and not enough meditation at recent meetings, maintained there was "no chance for God to get a word in."

With Reservations. In Tampa, local boosters loudly boasted of 352 days of sunshine every year, put on a Chamber of Commerce Day, and were rained out.

Beyond the Call. In Toledo, a man who insisted that he was a "civilian" being threatened with a law suit, telephoned Civil Defense Director James W. Ault and asked to be defended.

Top Secret. In Milwaukee, when Joseph R. Cook was asked to take his cap off in a public-library reading room, he angrily ripped up newspapers and magazines, finally explained to police that he didn't want to muss his hair, was found to be nearly bald.

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