Rhetorical Question. In Milwaukee, Dr. John W. Markson, psychiatrist and lecturer on "What Is Love?", was divorced by his wife, who declared that he had never shown her.

Defense in Depth. In Baltimore, when a fire broke out in the Roosevelt movie theater, customers who wanted refunds formed such a crush around the boxoffice that firemen had to hose them aside before they could fight the fire.

Lesson for Today. In Greenville, S.C., the Southside Baptist Church put up a billboard with the message: "Salvation is free and tax free. Tell Tom, Dick but not Harry."

Off Ration. In London, Mrs. Florence Sparrow brought suit against a bakery when she sliced into a loaf of bread, found a baked sparrow.

Wet Blanket. In Santiago, Chile, Weather Forecaster Julio Bustos was being sued by the mayor of Valdivia, who charged that Bustos' prediction of rain during Valdivia's centenary celebrations had discouraged tourists, cost the city 10 million pesos.

Calling All Strings. In Euclid, Ohio, Musician Fred Keyerleber complained that he kept getting police broadcasts on his electric guitar.

Dearly Beloved . . . In Gary, Ind., Justice of the Peace Paul Dudak indignantly announced that he would not marry any more couples who chew, drink, hum, whistle, wear greasy clothes or crack improper jokes during the marriage ceremony.

Delicate Operator. In Milwaukee, when Patrolman William Klippel slipped up behind a burglar and murmured "stick 'em up," the burglar gasped and fainted.

After Due Consideration. In Manhattan, a 65-year-old recluse explained that she kept to her ancient, gaslit house because "there just aren't any people around any more worth knowing."

Point of Honor. In Detroit, when Bennie Evans was hauled into police court for drinking whisky, insulting women and eating popcorn in a movie theater, Evans indignantly protested: "I have never eaten popcorn in my life."

On Reflection. In Dahlonega, Ga., Charlie Elrod explained to police why he smashed the dresser mirror: he did not like the looks of the drunk staring at him.

Falling Market. In Coral Gables, Fla., when Store Supervisor J. R. Lawson shouted "drop it," ten steaks, two hams, four chickens and two packages of sliced ham fell from the skirts of two women shoplifters.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.