Coup. Near Matamoros, Mexico, customs inspectors found contraband needles in a truckload of hay.

Up Eire. In Boston, Bart Butler, president of the Central Council of Irish County Clubs, made plans to protest to Congress that imitation shillelaghs are being exported to the U.S. by the Japanese.

Spirits. In Birmingham. Ala., cops got a tip and rushed to a local cemetery, dug into an odd-looking grave, exhumed a 55-gallon moonshine still, uncovered its fuel supply in the adjacent plot.

Insult. In Butte, Mont., Dennis Lambert sued Tavern Owner W. B. Booth for $16,500, charged that Booth flew into a violent rage and beat him up after Lambert ordered a hamburger and removed the onions.

Psychology Student. In Tulsa, Motorist Walter Mims explained to police why he had smashed into a car driven by a woman ahead of him: "She signaled she was going to turn right, and then she turned right."

Old Acquaintance. In Pittsburgh, the marriage license bureau got a request from Harry P. Doyle of Quincy, Ill. to send him the name of the woman he married in 1922.

Roughage. In Tokyo, after several sticks of dynamite disappeared from a munitions depot, cops combed the city for suspected terrorists, finally caught a rosy-cheeked lad who confessed to the theft and explained: "I ate them."

Forecast. In St. Louis, Space Cadet Harold Buren, 9, projecting a trip to the moon in 1970, asked the local weather bureau for a prediction, was informed: "No rain, no hail, no sleet. High daytime temperature, 250DEG; low nighttime temperature, 110."

Quality of Mercy. In Baltimore, after a shabby vagrant asked for five days in jail to escape the winter cold, sympathetic Magistrate E. Everett Lane pointed out that March is chilly, too, kindly gave him 45 days.

Calculated Risk. In Anniston, Ala., Fred Walker exhibited his scalp wound in domestic court, explained that his wife had threatened to bash him with a jar and "I bet her she would change her mind, but she didn't."

Net Result. On the shores of Lake Overholser, Okla., after the public was invited to watch a team of seiners ridding the reservoir of undesirable fish, 20,000 Sunday motorists jammed all roads leading to the lake, prevented the fishermen from getting near the water.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.