Inflation. In Richfield, Minn., after the State Bank celebrated its fifth anniversary by passing out wooden nickels that had cost it 8-c- each, local merchants accepted the coins at face value.

Love Story. In Fairfield, Calif., Rancher Ralph Fong explained to the sheriff why he had tried to hire two men to kill his wife so that he could collect her $10,000 life insurance: "I loved her so much I couldn't shoot her myself."

Cylinder Head. Near Webster, S. Dak., after his radiator hose broke and let all the water out, beer-truck driver Henry Becht repaired the coupling, poured in 21 bottles of his load, foamed along.

Neither Snow nor Rain . . . In Baltimore, after his wife was hauled into court for drunken driving, unwilling witness Loring Stevenson told the judge why he was following her at 3 a.m. in another car without headlights: "I had some mail I wanted to give her."

Above Suspicion. In Bowling Green, Ohio, FBI men found Private Albert Furukawa, four months AWOL, living in an apartment over the office of Draft Board 126.

Audience Participation. In Cordova, Md., after both high-school basketball teams ran out of substitutes, Cordova, with a borrowed spectator, beat St. Michael's, with a drafted cheerleader, 45-43.

Truce Talk. In Memphis, after the judge advised him that if he wanted to fight he ought to go to Korea, Charles McGowen, booked for disorderly conduct, replied: "I'm just back from Korea, judge. I got into a fight arguing about the fighting in Korea."

Duel in the Sun. In Los Angeles, the junior chamber of commerce received five battered umbrellas from the Miami junior chamber of commerce to aid its fight against "torrential rains," declined to use them because "the umbrellas went through Florida hurricane prior to shipment."

Middleman Out. In Dallas, Horace Coleman refereed a pistol duel between two pals, caught a slug in each leg.

Detailed Description. In Lexington, Ky., after a swindled merchant set cops on the trail of a forger wearing a ragged coat fastened with an eightpenny nail, Suspect Brice Young protested: "It couldn't be me. My coat is fastened with tenpenny nail."

The Horse's Mouth. In Chilliwack, B.C., Mrs. Edna Fenton walked into police headquarters and asked the desk constable how she might get herself jailed to escape her angry husband, was advised to hit a cop, did, was.

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