Cold Cash. In Dallas, thieves stole $102 from Emma Sutton's refrigerator.

Census. In Hammond, Ind., the Times canvassed the town's nine cemetery caretakers, concluded that since Hammond has 126,322 people underground, but only 87,594 above, the town is more dead than, alive.

Malice Toward None. In Cleveland, when Barber Paul Pirosko sued for $5,000 damages from the man who called him a "butcher," Judge B. D. Nicola, a onetime butcher's apprentice, dismissed the case: "It takes no little skill to be a butcher."

More of the Same. In Tulsa, Okla., Claude Dowell, in jail for drunkenness, was released in time to help move his wife to their new home: the unused jail in suburban Garden City, which she had bought from the city for $500.

Change of Luck. In Baltimore, Hester Haring, 59, who was arrested for taking number bets, paid her $762 fine with 6,000 pennies, 1,100 nickels, 200 dimes, 680 quarters, 482 half dollars, $216 in folding money.

The Quick & the Dead. In South Bend, Ind., John C. Haynes, announcing the opening of his new body-building gymnasium, listed among his qualifications the fact that he is both a licensed embalmer and a funeral director.

Love for Sale. In Jonesboro, Ark., Floyd Bailey, 22, took an advertisement in the Sun offering matrimony to any girl with enough money to help him get out of jail.

Surplus Property. In Santa Monica, Calif., after Mrs. Shirley LaHeist opened a letter addressed to her missing husband and found in it a bill for a $16 wedding ring, cops investigated, arrested Roland LaHeist for bigamy.

Career Girl. In Detroit, after being selected "Miss Sewer Cleaner of 1952," Gaylia Davis, 17-year-old model, decided: "It may be a soggy title, but if it helps my career, I don't care."

Aperitif. In Buffalo, N.Y., members of the Women's Christian Temperance Union gathered for a state convention, found that the mayor had just announced the celebration of National Wine Week.

Fashion Note. In Omaha, cops voted 133 to 27 to change the color of their official necktie from black to "powder puff blue."

Reflected Glory. In Springfield, Mass., Winston Churchill was nominated for the board of aldermen in the Republican primaries, and Robert Taft for school committeeman.

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