Rigid Diet. In Chicago, the Tribune syndicate's health columnist told a worried reader that her habit of eating three boxes of laundry starch a week would do her no harm, but asked her to let him know if it stiffened her stomach.

Voluntary Servitude. In Auburn, Ind., after De Kalb County's six council members thumbed down his request for funds to hire a new deputy, Sheriff Frank Carpenter dropped in at each official's home, issued each man a badge and equipment, soon had six deputies ready to serve at no cost to the county.

Young Man's Fancy. In San Rafael, Calif., Mrs. Etta Waldorff, 50, accused her 91-year-old male boarder of chasing her around in his birthday suit until she finally had to put a lock on her bedroom door.

Welfare State. In Cleveland, Cuyahoga County Treasurer Leslie Monroe got tired of keeping 400 old personal property tax accounts on his books, kicked in $11.76 of his own, paid them all off.

Open & Shut Case. In Houston, after he was picked up for speeding and escaped from the cop who nabbed him, Daniel Martin was arrested again by the same cop, fined $15 for stealing a pair of handcuffs, despite his plea: "He put them on me. I just left."

Buyer, Beware! In Detroit, Car Dealer Ray Whyte quickly repaired his mammoth "Whyte Oldsmobile" sign after the last two letters of his name burned out.

Self-Starter. In Starks, La., after vainly trying to start his car, George Henry got two sticks of dynamite, scattered spare parts all over town.

Pound Foolish. In Oblong, Ill., on being presented with an $825 bill for home-insulation materials, retired Mailman W. R. Wall took the salesman to his bedroom, pointed to a pile of 110,000 pennies, paid up when the salesman returned with a truck to haul off the 550-lb. remittance.

Test Flight. In Baltimore, after cracking up a stolen hearse, Harry Jones explained that he merely wanted "to see how the thing rode before I died."

Way of All Flesh. In Smithville, Ohio, Long's Market felt the pinch, advertised for "a good home for a male coach dog; very fond of sirloin steaks."

Backlash. Near Wellington, Kans., a fisherman abandoned his catch after he cast his line from a railway bridge over a creek, short-circuited an automatic control system, turned every block signal red on 107 miles of track, halted 14 freight trains and three passenger expresses, stalled them all for two hours.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.