Maintenance Charge. In Santa Monica, Calif., H. L. Bridges was excused by the court after he explained why he paid only 48-c-of a $1 parking fine: "The officer who slipped the ticket under my windshield wiper broke it, cost me 52-c--c-."

Third Strike. At Camp Pickett, Va., after calling some bad ones as umpire in a post softball game, Private Noel Fuquay was escorted from the field by a protective squad of sergeants, three days later got his discharge from the Army for poor eyesight.

Collective Bargaining. In Wethersfield, Conn., the warden of the state prison asked the state legislature to increase the wages of prison inmates from 15-c- to 25-c- a day.

Rules of the Road. In Glasgow, Mont., Wesley Firemoon smashed through a roadside railing in broad daylight, explained, "I dimmed mine, but that other fellow didn't dim his," was booked for drunken driving. .

Profit & Loss. In Birmingham, England, Edward Mason sued the driver who injured him in a collision for $33,860 damages, including $30,450 to cover his probable earnings from playing the horses.

The Literate Mind. In Redwood City, Calif., after a telephoned tip from the repentant thief who found he had heisted $100 from the wrong man, Restaurateur George Stoltz sent to the public library, recovered his money from behind Spengler's Decline of the West.

Merit System. In Santa Fe, N.Mex., Public Accountant Chuck Churchill, who had once been hired by the Democratic-controlled State Bureau of Revenue, then fired when it was discovered that he was a registered Republican, was rehired by the newly Republican bureau, fired two days later when it turned out that he had changed his registration to Democrat.

Premonition. In Detroit, Mrs. Elaine House won a divorce after she explained that she learned her husband was dickering with a loan company for the cash hq needed for her burial expenses.

Scene of the Crime. In Vienna, while a trial was in progress, two men entered district court with a ladder, began to dismount a large pendulum clock, continued working despite the judge's protests, coolly walked out with their loot.

Private Lives. In Los Angeles, Vernon Branson Twitchell, author of Living Without Liquor: A Guide to the Problem Drinker, was arrested for drunkenness. In Houston, after speaking at the Olivet Baptist Church on "Christian Activities and Airplane Riding," Everett Scott was nabbed for impersonating an Air Force officer.

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