Outnumbered. In Los Angeles, Thomas R. Anderson won a divorce after testifying that his wife not only addressed him as "You fool," but taught their parrot to say it, too.

Greatly Exaggerated. In Rochester, N.Y., Private John B. Smart, home on furlough, signed for a telegram that reported him missing in action in Korea.

Operating Surplus. In Camden, N.J., the Courier reported that "the value of stolen property in the township [Pennsauken] during the year was $35,348, while Pennsauken police recovered $44,608."

Incorruptible. In Chicago, after feeding without charge the cops and firemen who were battling a blaze near his restaurant, Al Lee found a parking ticket on his car.

Grand Larceny. In Pekin, Ill., somebody filched a 300-lb. tombstone from the Abel Vault & Monument Co.

It Tolls for Thee. In Kansas City, James Baker and Howard L. Hatfield were arrested for speeding while hurrying to a police station to post bond for a speeder friend.

Unanimity. In San Pablo, Calif., City Councilmen Ernest L. Wampler and Palmer S. Myhre signed petitions that would put their recall from office up for voting.

Private Lives. In Sunderland, England, 38-year-old William Moon explained to the court how he happened to apply for unemployment pay for himself and his wife Mary--even though she was working: he and his wife lived together, but hadn't spoken to each other for a year, so he hadn't heard about her job.

Lorelei. In Detroit, three wives filed nonsupport suits against their husbands, all three of whom, the complaining women testified, had gone off with a Mrs. Lorraine Brandon.

Auxiliary Equipment. In Syracuse, N.Y., while an usher was looking for an extinguisher to quench a fire in a wastebasket, moviegoers put out the flames with artificial orange juice from an automatic drink dispenser.

Underrated. In Seattle, Theodore F. Earp, humiliated by the petty charge of drunkenness, protested to the police: "Why, I'm more important than that. The FBI is after me."

Room Service. In Dallas, when the porter at a motel awakened one of the guests at 6 a.m., as requested, the guest got up, followed the porter to the office, pulled out an automatic, drove away with thee night's receipts.

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