Engaged. In Washington, D.C., Luther R. Weakley, on trial for first degree murder, was called for jury duty in another case.

New Market. In Phoenix, Ariz., the congregation of the Central Methodist Church, leaving Sunday services, found their cars plastered with liquor advertisements.

Alternative. In Kingston, Ont., the Whig-Standard ran an item in its classified section: "Refined young lady desires bachelor or small apartment."

At Home & Abroad. In Providence, R.I., Harold Fitzpatrick, after a barroom celebration, explained how he happened to throw bricks through 16 panes of glass in a downtown business building: "I thought I was in Woonsocket."

Audition. In Philadelphia, investigating complaints that someone was screaming in the Shubert Theater at 4 a.m., cops found Night Watchman Hector Williams, 67, singing "My object all sublime" from Gilbert & Sullivan's Mikado to 1,900 empty seats.

Custody. In San Francisco, Wilbur W. Wileman, 34, sued his wife for divorce, asked for an "equitable division" of their four dogs.

Conformist. In Detroit, George Taylor, 56, petitioned to change his name to Pappados on grounds that his Greek friends could not pronounce Taylor.

Police Protection. In Milwaukee, when Mrs. Helen Bohn complained that her furrier would not return her Silverblu mink to her, police arrested her for stealing the mink in the first place.

And Again. In Johannesburg, South Africa, Magistrate A. S. Mathews fined a culprit -L-10 for stealing a copy of a book called I Sinned Again.

Upswing. In Hollywood, a thug who robbed a restaurant wrote down an observation for the owner: "Not one nickel was phony. You know, people are getting more honest these days."

Modern Times. In Washington, D.C., the Post Office Department opened a letter addressed to Santa Claus: "Please send me two atom bombs, a couple of pistols and a good sharp knife."

Boredom Deferred. In Chicago, Mrs. Grandoline Yolanda Shalimar Pepper Scarlet Dellis explained why she fired four shots at her husband: "I'm an exotic dancer who's worked in every striptease joint in town ... I like an appreciative audience, and not even my husband can get away with falling asleep while I'm talking."

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