Where the Heart Is. In El Paso, lonely, young Carlos Torres, just released from jail, was caught trying to climb through a jail window, explained: "I have to get back to my friends."

Gay Blade. In Memphis, careless Grass Cutter Lehman Barnes drove his power lawn mower into the street, ran into an automobile, was charged with reckless driving.

Little Strangers. In London, Harold Wreight complained in his divorce suit that although his wife had never become a mother she 1) once showed him a borrowed baby and told him it was theirs, 2) twice sent him word that she had given birth to twins, 3) once sent him word that she had given birth to triplets.

Natural. In Harrisburg, Pa., the North Eastern Poultry Producers Council elected a new president for the year ahead, one Waldo Chick.

It's Like This ... In San Diego, Carol Williams was jailed for drunkenness despite her explanation that her rings were so tight she needed a few drinks to ease the pain.

Wheels of Justice. Near Weston, Ont., two policemen gallantly pushed two teen-aged girls in a stalled car for nearly a mile, then asked as a matter of course to see a driver's license, got suspicious when neither girl had one, checked up and found the car was stolen.

See Here, Private ... In Danville, Va., a young man named Major General Robertson was directed to report for his Selective Service physical.

Burnt Child. In Philadelphia, Clarence J. Malehorn, summoned to testify before a federal grand jury investigating gambling, explained why he did not want to answer several questions: the women on the jury could not be trusted to keep his testimony secret.

The Middle Way. In Belfast, Northern Ireland, 50 girls who quit work because the boss would not let them sing on the job went back when he agreed to let them hum.

O Promise Me ... In Detroit, Mrs. Mary Kapetansky won a divorce on her cross complaint that, among other things, her husband had fallen down on his pre-wedding promises to 1) move to Detroit's fashionable Palmer Woods, 2) buy her a mink coat.

Know Thyself. In Memphis, Jack Caldwell, who told the judge it would take him "about 26 days" in confinement to make himself give up whisky, was sentenced to 26 days.

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