How to Be Respectable

Two years ago a British wit named Stephen Potter published a little book called The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship (TIME, Sept. 6, 1948)--a waggish study of how to win games "without actually cheating." Last week, in School and Society, a U.S. dean did much the same thing for "Academic Respectability"--how to attain it without actually knowing how to teach. If members of the profession will only follow a few simple rules, writes Dean H. T. Morse of the University of Minnesota's General College, such respectability is assured.

The first thing, says the dean, is to ditch class discussion and stick to the lecture method. This places the professor right off in a position of advantage and makes it unnecessary for him to answer questions. "It helps, too, if you avoid the practice of organizing your lecture's," for this will give the impression that "yours is the brilliant, untrammeled mind, of genius.

"You should have, of course, a few notes [and] these should preferably be citations to little-known reference works of a highly technical or abstruse nature." It is also wise to require students to read books and articles that are in short supply ''or not even available at the college library," thus providing "a splendid opportunity for you to make deprecating remarks about the provincialism and superficiality of the library and its lack of service to real scholars." Furthermore, a professor can do wonders for his prestige by occasionally pointing out "that the general educational level has fallen off lamentably since the days when you were a student . . .

"One useful device for adding to one's own status is to cut down the stature of your colleagues . . . and one most effective way to [do this] is to affect shocked surprise when a student cites another instructor. Just raise your eyebrows and say, with the proper emphasis, 'Did Professor Jones say that?' It is more devastating if you do not make any other comment, even if you could think of one."

Morse's deadpan conclusion: in addition to insuring respectability, following these general rules is often enough to guarantee a man a lifetime career in the rank of instructor or even, perhaps, assistant professor.

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