Master's Voice. In Newark, Ark., a span of mules heard the opening bars of Mule Train over a nearby jukebox, broke into high gallop at the first "Hiyah," scattered and splattered their load of plows all across town.

Seersucker Squad. In Rome, sleuths of the Gendarmeria took to dressing themselves as American tourists, had no trouble at all rounding up the Via Veneto's streetwalkers.

Trippingly on the Tongue. In London, arbitrating a knotty pronunciation dispute over the town of Pwllheli, Caernarvonshire, Wales, His Majesty's Court of Appeal ruled against "Fellee," "Poo-Hellee," and "Poosh-Hellee," finally compromised on "Pwellee."

The Straight Dope. In San Quentin, Calif., George Vierra, serving a seven-year stretch, got a sentence of one to six more years after guards found him in his cell preparing marijuana that he got from the prison stone quarry.

Armored Warfare. In High Point, N.C. Nollie Parker asked doctors to remove a .32-cal. pistol slug from the back of his head, walked calmly out of the hospital with his trophy and a slight headache.

All Choked Up. In Brooklyn, the local Red Cross chapter advised women Dodger fans not to wear girdles at the ball park because "they strangle the emotions."

Yard Birds. In Medford, Mass., Tufts College Professor Kenneth D. Roeder, studying insect nerve reactions, sadly reported that a detail of cockroaches supplied by the Army were so lazy that they refused to hop even for science.

Don't Bite the Hand ... In Atlantic City, jaded residents were warned by their decorous Chamber of Commerce never to "argue with a visitor," were further admonished to answer "Yes, sir," not "O.K., bud," to vacationists.

Occupational Hazard. In Melbourne, Australia, the Underwriters Council approved full benefits under the Workers Compensation Act for anyone who dislocated his jaw while yawning at work.

Foreclosure. In Sutton, W.Va., Hartzel Friend was held on assault charges for sinking his teeth into the hand of an obstinate debtor, hanging on until the man wrote him a check with his free hand for the $15 debt.

Moral Support. In Ottawa, Ont., after calmly balancing on a narrow bridge railing 100 ft. above the icy Ottawa River, Francois Michaud explained his nonchalance to rescuing police. "God," he announced, "is my aerial net."

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