Millennium. In Newark, the Erie Railroad, petitioning the Public Service Commission for an increase in fares, promised to modernize 144 commuter coaches so that windows could be opened "even by one lady."

Man About the House. In Yonkers, N.Y., police were looking for the thief who removed a pane of glass from Joseph J. Albaum's house, thoroughly rifled the place and carefully reputtied the glass when he left.

Best Friend. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Joyce Brainard won her divorce after testifying that when her husband came home at night he kissed the dog before he kissed her.

Depositor. In Great Falls, Mont., hospital attendants, after looking high & low for the rare type of blood needed to give Jacob Dirkes an emergency transfusion, found that the only pint available was the one that Dirkes had donated a few days before.

Prescription. In St. Louis, after hiccuping for eight days, Robert Meier explained how he had been cured: a stranger called on him, lit two black candles taken from a black bag, tied a string to a wet noodle and draped the string over Meier's head with the noodle hanging between his eyes.

The Brimming Cup. In Topsfield, Mass., while trying to sell surplus apples at the local fair, Mr. & Mrs. W. J. Abbott learned that in the apple pie baking contest they had won second and third prizes: eight bushels of apples.

Inside Sources. In Bournemouth, England, Bernard Silver, who ran the Silver Burglary Prevention and Security Service of London, was sentenced to 15 months for receiving stolen goods.

Smoke Signal. Near Bari, Italy, Farmhand Donato Summa explained why he had flagged down the crack Rome-Bari train to speak to the engineer: he had been working in the fields for three hours without a smoke and needed a match.

Rut. In Milwaukee, Gordon Edwards recovered his stolen automobile, noted that the engine had been damaged, went to get a mechanic, returned to find the car stolen again.

Fixed Price. In McAlester, Okla., Mrs. B. S. Nabor collected $2,500 damages from the Rock Island and M.K.T. railroads for injuries suffered when she fell at the depot; simultaneously her husband collected an additional $500 for "loss of his wife's affections during her hospitalization."

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