Long Shot. In McAlester, Okla., police surveyed the results of a three-way traffic accident: a trailer truck and switching locomotive were badly banged up, the horse was unhurt.

Dividend. In Paris, Tex., when a nickel was removed from two-year-old Rebecca Ann Allen's esophagus, the doctor also found a penny.

Burned Up. In Santa Monica, Calif., police set up new, all-metal "No Fires Allowed" beach signs, explained that too many picnickers had used the old wooden signs for kindling.

The Male Animal. In Springfield, Mo., Mrs. Pauline Suggs filed suit for divorce because her husband put an ad in the paper describing himself as a "lonely gentleman wishing to meet a nice lady, 35-40 years old."

Ties That Bind. In Nowata, Okla., after passing out parking tickets to his brother, his wife and his brother-in-law, Police Chief Arthur Stooky concluded: "It's getting to the point where I've got to decide whether to leave my job or my family."

Q.E.D. In North Little Rock, Ark., Beatrice Satterfield's husband explained to police how she happened to back his car through the side of a neighbor's house: "She wanted to prove to me that she could drive."

Handyman. In Lincoln, Mass., John Joseph Kelliher, 69, decided that he would retire because of poor health, left vacant the jobs of police chief, constable, water commissioner, water department superintendent, moth superintendent, slaughtering inspector, dog officer and sealer of weights & measures.

Prerogative. In Birmingham, England, Judge Richard Hill Norris, denying a divorce to a truck driver's wife, ruled that it was neither cruel nor uncommon for a man to strike his wife on the street on Saturday night.

Hard Work. In Denver, police reached the scene of the crime in time to arrest Warren McWilliams, who had worked so long and so hard trying to crack a safe that he finally fell asleep.

Indian Summer. In Menlo Park, Calif., Charles E. Brown, 82, had to call off his 62nd wedding-anniversary party when he came down with mumps.

Apostate. In Birmingham, England, Charles B. Clarke, who claimed exemption from military service on religious grounds, was drafted when he assured the court that there were twelve Commandments.

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