Congratulations

During the last year, Russia's ex post facto craving to lead the world in discoveries and inventions has reached the proportions of a national mania. Not content with claiming the airplane, telegraph, radio and electric light as Russian inventions, Soviet propagandists have been staking out their claims in every branch of the arts & sciences. Among the many Russian scientists who "were discussing" evolution long before Darwin, say the propagandists, was the 18th Century scholar, Mikhail Lomonosov. Scientist Lomonosov was quite a fellow; he also invented the helicopter and developed the theory of conservation of energy.

Another unsung Russian genius named Glinkov "considerably forestalled" Briton James Hargreaves in inventing the flaxspinning loom. Dr. N. I. Lunin of Dorpat discovered vitamins. Professor Kataev constructed the world's first electronic television transmitter. In 1801, the self-taught genius of the Urals, Artomonov, built the first bicycle in the world's history, then pedaled the 1,000 miles from Nizhny Tagil to Moscow to prove it.

How Western treachery has deprived Russia's greats of their rightful glory is amply illustrated by the case of V. S. Pyatov. In 1859, Pyatov tried to get a patent on his method of rolling armor plate. The czarist government submitted it to "foreign vultures" for their opinion, was informed that the invention was dangerous and impractical. A year later, the Soviet press asserted, the plate was produced by a vulture named Brown, in Sheffield, England. The list of Russian firsts which pulls Pyatov up from obscurity starts with the adding machine, anesthesia, Antarctica, atomic fission, runs on to the wedge breechblock and the wool-combing machine.

Last week, Soviet Bandleader Leonid Utesov produced a satiric view of Russian inventiveness. In a skit at Moscow's Hermitage Gardens, Utesov tells a friend that he is to be congratulated--he has just invented the umbrella. The friend points out that the umbrella has already been invented. "Yes," says Utesov, "but I am the first man to invent the umbrella for the second time."*

-Boastful Utesov was wrong. The umbrella has been invented again & again. A Chinese legend attributes its invention to a woman who lived some 3,000 years ago. The Greeks and Romans had it, but most of Europe forgot its umbrella during the Middle Ages. In the 16th Century some unnamed Italian invented it again. Two centuries later, however, umbrellas were being greeted with amazement in England and Scotland. North America's first umbrella appeared on the streets of Baltimore in 1772. According to one account, "Pedestrians stood transfixed, women were frightened, horses ran away, and naughty children threw stones. Finally, the town watch was called out to quiet the disturbance."

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