Petty Cash. In Seattle, when Mrs. Enar Glad pointed out to an armed robber that there was only $5 in the office and therefore "it's hardly worth your time," he agreed and left her office.

Change of Pace. In Missoula, Mont., a student veteran advertised in the Montana State University newspaper: "For Sale: Excellent courting car . . . Owner now needs baby carriage . . ."

Sip. In San Antonio, a woman fined $25 for drunkenness indignantly denied the charge: all she had had, she averred, was a fifth of whisky and eight beers.

Inalienable Right. In Ilocos Sur Province, P.I., officials protested that the recent ban on hip-swinging dances violated "Freedom of Locomotion."

Distinction. In Newark, Nathan Pinsky and Henry Schrier, found guilty of bookmaking, protested that they were not bookies but "turf counselors" who merely gave advice on horseflesh and charged a fee of 10% of the winnings.

Century of Progress. In Alamogordo, N. Mex., after a 67-mile walk from his desert home, 115-year-old David Romero gave his secret of healthy longevity: "I never got married."

Inside Job. In Tokyo, Discharged Policeman Keiichi Hashiguchi confessed that he had stolen clothing and over $100 in cash from police headquarters because "[it] was the easiest place to rob."

The Cloven Hoof. In Port Jervis, N.Y., Motorcyclist Clark Ponnell complained that a deer crashed into him, rode the handlebars for 150 feet before Ponnell landed dazed on the highway, "and then the deer walked over and kicked me."

Skimmer. In Tacoma, Wash., Mr. & Mrs. Clark G. Seabloom returned home to find their cottage ransacked, but nothing missing except the cream from the tops of four bottles of milk.

System. In Joliet, Ill., Otis Wendling, a prize safe driver for ten years, revealed that good driving is easy: the trick is to "drive defensively, as if other drivers are dangerous maniacs."

Discount. In Rochester, N.H., when Edward A. Bruce was asked how he pleaded to a charge of reckless driving, he told the judge: "About 50-50," got a $50 fine with 50% suspended.

Samaritans. In Lima, Peru, Manuel Gallardo Orihuela, knocked down by a hit & run driver, shouted for help, was picked up by three men who robbed him of his clothing and money.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.