For Deposit Only. In Denmark, Wis., Bank President George de Broux, whose bank had been held up, insisted that his burglar-alarm system worked fine; the only trouble was that the guard's rifle ammunition was locked in a safe.

Scholarship. In Bristol, England, the children's officer of the city council pointed out that it costs more to send a boy to a state reformatory than to Eton.

Triangle. In Brantford, Ont., Gordon Schwitzer, testifying at his wife's bigamy trial, explained to the court that he thought her first husband was "just another boy friend who didn't want me around."

Severance Pay. In Boston, Manager Benjamin Fastov of the Colonial Brush Manufacturing Co. told police that an employee whom he had discharged returned later and held up the office for $400.

Good Old Days. In London, Justice John Finnemore, sentencing a purse snatcher, fondly recalled the time when "men could be flogged for this type of offense . . . The only punishment available today, unfortunately, is prison."

Overruled. In Chicago, John Snyder, ordered to pay $3,800 damages for beating up his exwife, waited until the judge left the courtroom, then beat her up again.

V.V.O. In Tokyo, agents of the Army's Criminal Investigation Division cracked down on Japanese bootleggers, confiscated dozens of bottles of "American whisky," including one labeled "Famous since 1484."

All-Purpose. In Yukon, Okla., Leslie West advertised for sale: "12gauge shotgun . . . ideal for squirrels, rabbits, weddings."

Turncoat. In Snow Hill, N.C., Virginia police who had searched more than two years for Escaped Convict Tommy Hill finally found him working as a guard at a North Carolina state prison camp.

For Better or Worse. In Chicago, Mrs. Adeline C. Bryzek agreed to a reconciliation with her husband after he had promised to 1) wear a wedding ring at all times, 2) stop lending money to his relatives, 3) take her along whenever he goes fishing.

Slave Labor. In Brunswick, Germany, a skier who had accidentally crossed into the Soviet zone reported that he had been held in custody for two days while the Russian soldiers made him give them skiing lessons.

Weight of Evidence. In Cardiff, Wales, a divorce was granted to Ernest Evans after he testified that when his 224-lb. wife became annoyed, she sat on him.

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