Monday, Feb. 28, 1949
Pressure Group. In Crisfield, Md., as A. Wellington Tawes, speaking in the high school auditorium, finished making a motion to float a $1,500,000 bond issue for school repairs, the ceiling in the next room fell down, and the audience unanimously seconded Tawes's motion.
Stake. In St. Louis, when a holdup man took his last $40, Grocer Max Levy protested that he needed some change to continue with the day's business, got $5 back.
Homework. In Tyler, Tex., the National Board of Fire Underwriters finished a three-week inspection tour of the city, pointed out that the main fire station was a firetrap.
Handyman. In Woodbury, N.J., the ad placed by a "young man, 36" in the Help Available column of the local newspaper offered to "do anything from breaking into Fort Knox to pushing your mother-in-law out the window."
Shoemaker's Child. In Port Arthur, Ont., Paul Gibbon, whose job is issuing radio licenses, was fined $5 and costs for not having one.
Teacher. In Providence, John A. Quigley's nine-month term in jail for drunken driving was reduced to three months when a prominent attorney testified: "He's the fellow who showed me how to get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous."
AWOL. In Thessalon, Ont., after worrying over their missing police chief for a week, the town council decided to fire him for neglecting his duties.
Voice of Experience. In St. Louis, when Bachelor Kenneth Donzelot asked to be excused from jury duty in a wife-murder trial because he did not "know much about marriage or women," he drew a lecture from Judge James E. McLaughlin: "The court didn't marry until ... 39. The court . . . has learned he knows less about women since he got married than before . . ."
Selling Point. In Manhattan, Kans., Ellis Stackfleth invited an accident insurance salesman to come back later, followed him out of the house, fell on the icy pavement, broke his leg.
Practical Politics. In Central Falls, R.I., after two long years out of office, the Democrats recovered the reins of local government and promptly changed the locks on the city hall doors.
Handicap. In Toronto, Stuart H. Glass, suing for shoulder injuries resulting from an auto smashup, declared that the accident had added "10 to 15 strokes" to his golf game.
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