Miscellany

Heirloom. In Newark, Ohio, James E. Shrider, pleading guilty to carrying a concealed weapon, explained that the butcher knife was merely a keepsake, given to him by his grandmother.

Home Industries. In Concord, N.H., the State Planning & Development Commission hastened to squelch some ugly rumors with a press release: "... There is no connection between New Hampshire's reputation as [an] outstanding ski state and the fact that [we make] 75% of all wooden crutches."

Long Count. In St. Paul, Mrs. Jeanette Darling, suing for divorce, testified that her husband had not been home since he went off to Shelby, Mont, to see the Dempsey-Gibbons fight in 1923.

Businessman. In Moffat, Ont., Grocer Russell Stock Elsley raced into a burning house to rescue Harry Smith, modestly shrugged off praise by explaining: "He's a good customer."

Just a Minute, Please. In Gushing, Okla., Mrs. Everett Holland asked the cabdriver who had driven her to Yale Hospital to wait, reappeared two hours later with her newborn son.

Man v. the Elements. In Fort Scott, Kans., Weather Observer Frank Hewitt resigned after explaining that there was just too much ice, cold and snow for one man to cope with.

Allergy. In Des Moines, Mrs. Grace Grodt was granted a divorce after she testified that whenever she was around her husband she broke out with hives.

The Criminal Mind. In Cleveland, the burglars who broke into the Cowles Bakery brewed themselves coffee, sampled the cake, washed up the dishes and made off with two recipe books.

This Way Out. In Hope Mills, N.C., the local constable obliged when Robert Allen made a frantic appeal to him: "You've got to put me in jail. I've got two wives and I just can't stand it any more."

Attenshun! In Chicago, Dr. Charles W. Goff, member of the Posture Committee of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons, had a cheering word for stoop-shouldered men: a slight slouch and protruding rump, he said, is healthy, conserves energy, and keeps the sloucher alert.

Obiter Dictum. In Fort Worth, 6-ft.-10, 300-lb. L. J. Mitchell was granted a divorce when he testified that his wife had fired a rifle at him, but Judge Frank P. Culver mused: "I don't see how she missed."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.