The Bright Side. In Salt Lake City, the editors of the state prison newspaper had a consoling word for their fellow convicts: "No one is entirely useless. Even the worst of us can serve as horrible examples."

Stop & Look. Near Lisco, Neb., Benny Ovido stopped his car on a railroad crossing to make certain the tracks were clear, jumped free just before the car was demolished by a train.

The Amenities. In Davenport, Iowa, two employees on trial for stealing from their boss were cheered by the receipt of their annual bonus checks.

Service Charge. In Columbus, Ohio, Albert French complained that when he fell through the third-story window of a hotel and landed unhurt, the manager billed him for the broken glass.

Flatfooted. In San Francisco, Jeweler Harry Winters reported that $950 had disappeared from his store while detectives were investigating a $45,000 burglary.

Fundamentals. In Juarez, Mexico, after running 225 miles to carry the symbolic torch for the El Paso (Tex.) Sun Carnival from Chihuahua City (Mexico), Pedro Paseno had a brief statement for the press: "My feet hurt."

Due Notice. In Jefferson City, Mo., Prison Trusty M. T. McDonald finished off his weekly sermon at the penitentiary with the text: "I go to prepare a place for you . . . that where I am, there ye may be also," a few hours later escaped.

First Lesson. In London, Psychologist Sir Frederic Bartless broke off his lecture on the mechanics of memory, sheepishly explained that his assistant had forgotten to bring the demonstration equipment.

Spot Landing. In San Pedro, Calif., police arrested Jesus Diaz, who had smashed into three police cars, caromed off into a fourth, come to a stop in front of the police station.

Getting On. In San Antonio, Marcello Martinez, 118, visited the State Department of Public Welfare to ask whether he was eligible to receive an old-age pension.

Before the Fact. In Indianapolis, a two-year prison sentence was given to Chester Allen Hunt, candidate for sheriff in the spring primaries, who had stumped Howard County in a stolen automobile.

Alteration. In Harrismith, South Africa, when Fanie Schoeman's native helper found his new shoes too tight for comfort, he hacked off both his little toes.

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