Canned Cayuse

Vienna's Communist press last week told the Viennese how U.S. elections are won. The trick is to capture the unemployed cowboy vote by canning horses for the Marshall Plan.

Canned U.S. horse meat has long been a staple item in Vienna's food shops. Recently Viennese have been buying more of it because butcher shops have had no fresh meat. But only the Communists understood the situation. The Communist Sport-Tagblatt am Montag explained:

"Some big American packers have changed over entirely to horse meat and are working at full capacity. They've created enormous organizations to procure the horses, most of which come from western states where there are still big herds of half-wild horses. Once the owners got good prices for these horses, but since the coming of the motor car, horses have not been worth so much. Farmers now make good money on this horse meat by sending it to Europe . . . Unemployed cowboys hunt the horses, shoot them, and make big money too. In this way the Government angles for the cowboys' and farmers' presidential vote."

Naturally, the Austrian lackeys of the American imperialists create an artificial shortage of fresh meat in order to force Viennese to buy the U.S. wild horse surplus. There you have the whole Marxist theory: overproduction, imperialism, scarcity--all in a Russian-cleaned nutshell.

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