A calendar of triumphs, defeats and contortions of the human spirit during 1947:

January. In Lakeville, Conn., someone penciled in the Hotchkiss School lavatory: "Schuyler van Kilroy 3rd was here."

February. In Mobile, Ala., a housewife, short of cash, guiltily broke into her baby's piggy bank, found only a note inside: "I.O.U. $5. (signed) Daddy."

March. In Grand Rapids, Lyle Collins, after stabbing five women with a pair of scissors, explained to police: "Women irritate me."

April. In Tulsa, a woman driver put out her hand, tied up traffic for three blocks, eventually explained to a cop: "Oh, I'm not going to turn; I'm just drying my nail polish."

May. In Norman, Okla., University of Oklahoma Botany Professor Lawrence M. Rohrbaugh had a suggestion for finicky fruit eaters: throw away the apple and eat the worm; it is more nourishing.

June. In Joplin, Mo., cops spotted a horse and rider wandering erratically down the street, quickly jugged the rider, despite his indignant claims that he was perfectly sober--the horse was drunk.

July. Near San Diego, Ray Bartholomew and Helen Tennant fell in love at first sight, put on their clothes and left the nudist colony for their honeymoon.

August. In Evanston, Ill., Northwestern University chemists announced that the value of the basic chemical elements in the human body, once estimated at 98-c-, has soared to $31.04.

September. In Bell Gardens, Calif., Joseph Bray, 37, left his wife and 13 children and eloped with the 16-year-old baby sitter.

October. In Detroit the FBI reported that William T. Fleming, who had been pinched in '43 and '44 for impersonating an Army captain, and in '45 for impersonating a second lieutenant, was now down to impersonating a first sergeant.

November. In Geneva, N.Y., a ten-year-old lad who stopped a New York Central freight train by shooting the fireman with a BB gun admitted to police that he had been in error--he was aiming at the engineer.

December. In Philadelphia, when Lorenzo Brokenbaugh admitted that he had four wives, Judge Raymond MacNeille gave him 9 to 18 months and a piece of his legal mind: "You're setting a bad example for those of us who have only one wife."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.