The Strenuous Life. In Springfield, III., Soda Jerk Herman Gronewald was rushed to the hospital after he wrenched his back whipping cream.

Critic. In Covington, Ky., sensitive Kenneth Ford took one outraged look at friend Helen Ring's New Look, knocked her flat.

Wheel In Bredasdorp, South Africa, Custodian F. Thorpe finally resigned after 30 years of conscientiously attending the clock on the local Dutch Reformed Church; the clock then let go and irresponsibly struck 103.

Wait Up. In Conway, Ark., Fire Chief K. W. Parker swallowed his pride, complained publicly that the citizens were always beating the firemen to the scene and blocking operations.

All for Tonight. In Atlanta, after three holdup men robbed George Grant of $60, he ran home and got his shotgun, came back firing, got robbed of that too.

Suggestion. In Prince Rupert, B.C., police investigated the name on a fishing boat, Guess Who?, dispensed with guesswork, scraped off the name to uncover the old one, pinched the fisherman for boat-stealing.

Empiricist. In Brooks, Ore., Betty Dunlavy, 40, was back in court for her 15th divorce, said she hoped the "right man" might still come along:

The Skids. In Detroit, the FBI reported that William T. Fleming, who had been pinched in '43 and '44 for impersonating an Army captain, and in '45 for impersonating a second lieutenant, was now down to impersonating a first sergeant.

Counter-Revolution. In Chicago, Lester Elvin Brown explained to cops that he was "trying to revolutionize criminal methods" when he handed a cafe cashier a note reading: "Madam, this is a holdup. On your shoulders rests the responsibility for the aversion of a tragedy."

Another Man's Poison. In Evreux, France, Prisoner Pierre Hennocque, having failed at hanging himself, tried to stuff himself to death by swallowing two can openers, a poker broken into ten-pieces, five four-inch nails, an assortment of screws, nuts & bolts, some curtain rings and a shattered wine glass--failed again.

Air Age. In Chicago, a stray horse turned up at the Municipal Airport, galloped gaily around the runways and brought air traffic to a halt for half an hour. In Charleston, W.Va., Frank Isaacs landed his seaplane on the Kanawha River, got run over by a steamboat.

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