Gay Deceiver. In Kansas City, 18-year-old Lillian Arlene Bucher went to court for a divorce, complained that "he told me he was 78--actually he was five years older."

That Goes Double. In Seattle, the Yocum twins got pains, had their appendixes removed. In Tulsa, the former Jordan girls, twins, went to the hospital, bore twins. In Weymouth, Mass., Mrs. John J. Walsh did it again: gave birth to twins--her third set in less than two years.

The High Cost. In Milan, Italy, Massimo D'Amico took one look at the check for his dinner, drew his revolver, demanded a reduction, got none, shot himself dead.

Volunteer. In Raleigh, N.C., Escaped Prisoner Junior Daniel Watson came back after a year's absence, explained that he had since joined the Army, had come to the conclusion that prison was better.

Animal Kingdom. In Hastings, Neb., a coyote squeezed through an opening into C. A. Nelson's chicken pen, dined so well that he trapped himself. Off Folkestone, England, Saltwater Fisherman Charles Darby pulled in his line, unhooked a red fox.

Know Thyself. In Dallas, Edward C. Parrish decided that he was really getting just too drunk & disorderly, phoned the cops, had himself arrested.

Humanitarian. In St. Louis, worried by talk of a Fire Department economy drive, Joseph Hauser turned in a false alarm, explained later that he hated to see any firemen get fired for lack of work to do.

Progressive Education. In Dartford, England, officials at an office-equipment exhibit discovered why the show was drawing so many small fry: they were doing their homework on the adding machines.

Double Take. In Chillicothe, Mo., Mrs. Lee Marksbury, whose car had just turned over five times, crawled out unhurt, took a look at the debris, keeled over in a faint and cut her face.

Repartee. In Kansas City, Kans., a local citizen named Gunn pleaded innocent to a charge of drunkenness, declared: "I wasn't loaded, your honor." Judge J. Earl Thomas happily announced: "Gunn discharged."

Inside Job. In Oakland, Calif., Allen Nauman hid his $45 roll in his shoe, went to a movie, dozed off, awoke with the shoe still on, the roll gone.

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