Home Rule. In Chicago, Gilbert Johnson sued for divorce, complained that his wife not only forbade him to read any magazines (too many women in them), forbade him to read about women in the newspapers, and turned off the radio whenever a woman's voice was on, but also thrashed him occasionally.

Happy Day. In Washington, James Davis, informed by Marian Schubert that she would indeed marry him, jumped for joy, broke his leg.

Decent Chaps. In Newark, stickup men robbed George B. Chandless Jr. of a $900 payroll, kindly paused in their getaway to hand him back his chocolate bar and licorice stick.

Nice Try. In Kansas City, Mo., R. D. Coleman, arrested for popping away at the sky with his BB gun, failed to persuade the judge that he was just trying to stir up a storm.

Burnt Child. In Houston, George M. Friddle declared in a hollow voice, "Never again," as he applied for his fifth divorce from the same wife.

Half a Loaf. In Honolulu, an aspiring safecracker broke into the Branfleet Sportswear Store, worked long & hard over the safe, finally gave up, turned his attention to a piggy bank, departed with two bits.

Thanks. In Plainview, Tex., Sidney Maurice Wilburn informed Constable A. W. Patrick at the local jail: "I'm through visiting ... let me out." Woolgathering Constable Patrick promptly let Prisoner Wilburn out.

Way to Skin a Cat. In Waukegan, Ill., flattered John Stebley, 67, accepted an invitation to join some boys in a football game, survived a pretty rough scrimmage, made it to a bar, discovered his wallet was gone.

Public Service. In Payette Lakes, Idaho, the weekly Star enlarged its page size, explained: "We have been getting complaints that our paper was too small to wrap a bottle of whiskey in."

Spat. In San Antonio, Detective D. E. Kelly was out of a job after ignoring reports that a nude man was dragging a nude woman across the street; Kelly explained that he figured it was just "a lovers' quarrel."

Small World. In Milan, Italy, Pickpocket Paulo Gaudenzi got off a streetcar after stealing a wallet, took one quick look at his loot, chased the car, jumped on, thrashed his victim. In the wallet : a photo of Paulo's wife, inscribed: "To the world's most thrilling lover."

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