Qualification. In Spokane. Wash., a husband denied, during divorce proceedings, that he beat his wife over the head seven times with a broiler; it was only three times, he averred, and with a lunch bucket.

Ding Dong Bell. Near Charles City, Iowa, the pussy that fell in the well kept 72-year-old would-be rescuer Mrs. Bert Dawley company until both were hauled out, damp but undamaged, 40 hours later.

Creative Mood. In Amherst, Mass., the University of Massachusetts investigated the causes of a production slowdown in chicken coops, decided it had found one trouble, advised farmers to knock politely in future, before bursting in on the hens at work.

Bargain. In Alhambra, Calif., an appliance store owner thought he was getting a wonderful buy from the two men who sold him a $15 motor--until he discovered that it had been lifted from one of his own washing machines.

Hot Tip. In Baltimore, Sun Police Reporter Pierce Hunter phoned a newsy item to his city desk: firemen were on their way to put out a blaze in the Sun's pressroom.

Irony Shot. In Kansas City, Mo., Golfer Martha Dietz stood up to the tee, swung and missed, did it again, connected solidly the third time, had to be satisfied with a hole-in-three.

The Bite. In Indianapolis, Landlady Esther Lemons lispingly complained to police that a tenant had moved out with bag, baggage and a set of teeth (lowers) that she had been generous enough to lend.

Stout Trout. In Lewiston, Idaho, 15-year-old John Olson got a very dirty look from a steelhead trout while wading in the river, explained to the game warden that the only thing he could do was stone the 13-lb., 36-in. fish to death in self-defense.

Bad Company. In Philadelphia, Myer Apfelbaum sued a movie theater for $1,500 damages caused by his own "ferocious and vicious" cat, which had been, he said, a gentle tabby before the theater manager borrowed it as a mouser for a couple of months.

Not Quite There. In Springfield, Ohio, resourceful Contractor Julius N. Marcinko had trouble with a key that wouldn't fit, finally got in through the basement window and laid a tile floor in the kitchen of the wrong house. In Nashville, Tenn., a woman had a neat, small house constructed, then discovered that the lot she owned was down the street a way.

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