Cat & Mouse

Father Divine, Negro religious leader (see PEOPLE), whom his followers believe to be God, often grants interviews which are published at length in his weekly paper, The New Day. They go something like this. Father Divine: "Now I may have said that and I may not have said that. I bear no record of it, but if I said something like that, it must be true and if it is true, I could not have said otherwise." The follower: "Yes, Father. How true that is, Father. It was very kind of you to give me this interview, Father. Bless you, Father." Father Divine: "Peace, it's wonderful."

Last week, Harold Stassen, peripatetic Republican presidential candidate, disclosed the full report of his recent conversation with Russia's Generalissimo Joseph Stalin. It went something like this:

Stassen: Generalissimo Stalin ... I would be interested to know if you think [our] two economic systems can exist together in the same modern world in harmony. . . .

Stalin: Of course, they can. . . .

Stassen: . . . There have been many statements about not being able to cooperate. Some of these were made by the Generalissimo himself. . . .

Stalin: It's not possible that I said that the two economic systems could not cooperate. . . .

Stassen: The statements I referred to are those made by you at the 18th Communist Party Congress in 1939 and the Plenary Session in 1937--statements about "capitalist encirclement" and "monopoly. . . ."

Stalin: There was not a single Party Congress or Plenary Session ... at which I said or could have said that cooperation between the two systems was impossible.

Stassen: I appreciate the opportunity of talking with you.

Stalin: I am at your disposal. We Russians respect our guests.

Stassen: I had an informal talk with Mr. Molotov . . . and it developed into an invitation to visit Russia on the occasion of my trip to Europe.

Stalin: Things are in very bad shape in Europe as a whole. Is that true?

Stassen: Yes, in general, but there are some countries . . . Switzerland, Czechoslovakia--

Stalin: Those are small countries. . . .

Stassen: The low production of coal in the Ruhr has caused a shortage of coal throughout Europe.

Stalin: Yes. It is very strange. . . .

Stassen: It is fortunate that we have had such large production of coal in the United States. . . .

Stalin: Things are not bad in the United States.

Stassen: Our [the U.S.] problem now is to see to it that we do not have a depression, an economic crisis.

Stalin: Do you expect a crisis?

Stassen: ... I believe we can regulate our capitalism and stabilize our production and employment at a high level without any serious crisis. . . .

Stalin: The Government must be vested with wide powers to accomplish that. . . . Magazine analysts and the American press carry open reports to the effect that an economic crisis will break out.

Stassen: . . . The problem is one of leveling off at high production and stabilizing. . . .

Stalin: The regulation of production?

Stassen: The regulation of capitalism.

Stalin: But what about businessmen? Will they be prepared to be regulated?

Stassen: No. Some will have objections.

Stalin: Yes, they do. ...

Stassen: I appreciate this opportunity of talking with you and the time you have given me.

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